The Things Racers Were Right About

If you’ve been trolling any of my social media like I assume you have (wink wink), then by now you’ve probably seen some pictures. You may have a smidgen of an idea of what we’ve been up to in Costa Rica. You may get that I’m on some farm…that I’ve done some work with kids…that I’ve probably been translating a lot (which I have). But it’s time for me to open up and let you in on some of the aspects of this month that could just as easily be left unsaid. Some of the aspects that have been harder…stretching…challenging…and at times exhausting. It’s these things that have made this month one that I will not forget. These are things that you can’t learn without being in it…without pressing in and choosing to stay present even when it’s at times the last thing you want to do.

What I have seen on the Race so far is that almost everything past racers told me to expect in terms of difficulty has been right. It’s hard. It’s hard living in a community of people you didn’t choose, and yet those people have become your main source of friendship and even sense of family. It’s hard when you have to have daily conversations asking for forgiveness…pointing out each others’ blind spots and having your own weaknesses presented for all others to see. It’s hard when you realize that your way of dealing with things happening around you can actually be damaging or hurtful to someone else.

You can’t hide here.

You can try, but it will catch up to you. People will figure it out. What you try to keep under wraps is going to eventually spill over and probably smack someone in the face whether you wanted it to or not.

Down here, it’s like we operate under a pressure cooker of time and space. Everything feels amplified since we are almost always together. And if you don’t deal with stuff as it arises, that pressure cooker is going to cause whatever it was to eventually explode out on everyone else.

And that is just team dynamics.

On top of working things out constantly with each other, we have the communication with our ministry hosts as well. To say that this month has been challenging in that area for our team is an understatement. And just like the team dynamics warning from past racers, the words we heard at launch about ministry challenges are equally true.

Photo Creds: Maria Bayles

Sometimes you are asked to do things that just don’t make sense. (Like digging holes for fence posts and then re-digging them because rain filled them up and the posts aren’t even ready yet). The logistical plans usually change at least 3 times (usually right in front of your eyes) before you have any semblance of what is happening next. And sometimes you are dropped off at a field and told you will be playing a soccer game with some locals when you are already exhausted emotionally and physically and just feel like you have nothing left to give except to run around a little while they absolutely clobber you. I’m sure it will be funny eventually.

And yet.

The night before last I went on a run.

I ran by that soccer field and I heard my name.

Kids were calling me to come play.

I have only been here one month, and yet. I am known. I hear my name when I am walking down the street. It’s a little crazy if you think about it.

I ran home afterwards and walked by a house where I knew the girl standing in the yard. Melissa. I stopped and talked to her a minute, and we chatted about what she was up to that night. She talked about how one day she would love to do something like what we are doing. (She’s only 15). I told her she should.

Yesterday before church, I had a heart-to-heart convo with one of the guys on our team. It was a conversation involving honesty and humility and asking forgiveness on both sides. It was tough in some ways, but we both gained something from it and understand each other a little more from it.

Last night back at the farm, I found myself sitting on the hammock with the cat purring away in my lap and just staring at the stars. It felt like old times back in Nicaragua. Just wanting to connect with him, I prayed for Jesus to find me. I saw a shooting star and shortly after I stumbled upon a frog the size of a small dog. He really knows exactly how to delight me.

My point is this. I want you to hear about the hard stuff. I want you know that I need your prayers and that walking through the daily grind here can be frustrating, confusing, tiring, or just plain discouraging.

And yet.

Yet I see the Lord in it. I see him working on us. I see him changing our hearts when we’ve had enough of the confusion or miscommunication. I see him helping us to press into conversations and interactions that may not be easy. I see him helping us be faithful to finish strong this month when we were wondering how we would have the strength to do it.

In just a few days we will be heading to Nicaragua for debrief in GRANADA, and I couldn’t be more pumped about it. But for now…for the next few days…I’m gonna soak it in as much as I can. I’m gonna pray God keeps supplying us with strength and energy and that his blessings keep falling on us even when we are tired or offended or just need to be filled up again.

Everyone said it was gonna be like this. And they also said they wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’m starting to see what that means, and so I trust that Jesus knows what he is doing. Come Lord Jesus Come. We trust you to keep leading us.