[BTW – I want this t-shirt for Christmas, so if you feel led to get it for me I wear size Medium. 😉 ]
[ http://www.5poundapparel.com/products/dreams-come-true ]
Every time people ask where we are from on the Race, my teammates usually says what State they are from, but I always introduce myself and say that I’m from Springfield, MO. Why? Because I love Springfield.
I love that it’s a city, but it’s not too big.
I love that I can drive 15 minutes and be in the country.
I love the hiking and nature trails in and around Springfield.
I love my church, so very much.
I love that I live 2 minutes from Walmart, 5 minutes from church, and 7 minutes from dance.
I love living with my brother in our 2-bedroom townhouse at discounted rent because the basement is closed off due to flooding.
I loved my job at Express Press and the coworkers that became my family.
I love that I get to take dance lessons at the Savoy Ballroom on C-Street.
I love that I get to be part of the C-Street Zombie Corps and perform Thriller every October.
I love Historic C-Street, its businesses, business owners, train yard, community events…
I love everything about Springfield, MO, and I’ve been looking forward to starting a new chapter of life there after the Race.
My history in Springfield before the Race went something like this: For a season I loved the good gifts of my life there more than the one who gave me those gifts, God. But he wouldn’t let me love my life there more than I love him, and he worked in my life to get me to let go of them and leave town, but not before redeeming it for me so that it was something I gave up willingly and with joy. So I left for the Race, looking forward to the day when I could go back and enjoy life there with the proper heart of thankfulness. 🙂
I’m now only 5 months away from being home, and I’m still looking forward to being back in good old Springvegas. But now I’m not so sure I’ll stay there for very long. Leaving for the World Race uprooted me from that life, and I can go back, but it won’t be the same.
There are new people at the Savoy now who won’t even know who I am. I don’t want to go back and work at Express Press again, as much as I loved it. I’m not sure I want to settle into another long term job either. I dearly love my church… and my friends. I miss them and can’t wait to see them. But my heart is starting to desire a brand new start where I can put down new roots and grow in a new season.
My brother Matthew has stepped into all the aspects of my life in Springfield that made it ‘mine’ – He works at Express Press, the Savoy, dances, teaches dance, shares an apartment with me… what was my life is now his life. And I rejoice in that! Praise the Lord that my life in Springfield paved the way for Matthew to thrive there. 🙂
It just feels a bit like it did when I left home for college and Staci moved into my room. Every time since then when I go home, I’m still welcome there. I still have a place there. I am loved there. But it’s not the same, because my room isn’t my room, my bed isn’t my bed, life there isn’t my life anymore.
Another comparison that comes to mind is Frodo at the end of LOTR. He goes back to the Shire with Sam and everyone after the ring is destroyed, but he can’t stay there forever. He loves his friends and enjoys life, but it’s not the same, nor can it be. The things that happened in my life the year before the Race, and now these 11 months around the world are serving to move my heart on to something else in life. Probably won’t go live with the elves, but I’m not sure I can live in Shirefield.
This month as I’ve been thinking and praying through where the Lord is leading my desires, I feel sad when I contemplate the implications of not staying too long in Springfield after the race. My heart hurts at the thought of saying goodbye more permanently to everyone and everything that I love there. It feels strange to think that way when all I’ve wanted was to be back there after the Race. But at the same time, I know I never intended to live there forever. So maybe the time to leave indefinitely is sooner than I thought it would be.
There are still 5 months before I go home, and who knows what the Lord will do in my heart between now and then. And I still plan to land in Springfield upon my return, the question is simply for how long?
If the next season of my life is somewhere other than Springfield, MO, I’m ready. I will follow, I will obey, and I will have joy. 🙂
Every day I’m striving to live in light of Proverbs 3:5-6:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, don’t rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways, and he will make your path straight.
I don’t know where my path is going to lead, but I trust the Lord. And it will be good. 🙂
