I was supposed to write this blog weeks ago, and for that I apologize. I did start writing this particular post a good five times or so, but each time something wasn’t quite right. Here’s hoping this one’s a winner!
Before we get started, here’s a picture of me and my team for next year: Jodi, Sally (our fearless leader), me, Alex, Laura, and Becca. Our team name: The Willing Wanderers.
Anyway, back to the discussion at hand:
As you may recall from reading my support letter, or from my previous blog posts, I finished seminary with a heart of bitterness because I felt that the standard for studying, teaching, and preaching of the word that I was taught there did not align well with the reality of church and ministry life. Scripture should be used in context, from a literal, grammatical, historical hermeneutic, all the time, every day, period. Anything less is poor stewardship, and my mind wouldn’t let truth get from my ears to my heart if it didn’t weave its way through this irrevocable latticework of an accuracy filter.
Fast forward a year from seminary graduation, and I’m starting to do better in this regard. God did some work in my prideful heart to where I am loving those who do not have the same or higher education than me. Love is greater than hermeneutics, after all. And, let’s be honest, I don’t get to take credit for my education. Me getting to go to seminary was God’s grace!
Fast forward again to October of this year, and there I am at training camp. I’ve gotten used to the new facts of life: My showers now come from a bucket, not a faucet. I have no say over, and really no knowledge of, my daily schedule. I may or may not have changed my clothes within the past 36 hours. No big deal.
Then we have to go to these teaching sessions where they are basically fast-track discipling us for the expressed purpose of preparing us for Christian life in the context of the World Race. That is a lofty goal for a mere ten days. I think the staff did a great job plotting out the course for the week, and I know they put a lot of time and care into every detail. I appreciate that.
But there were a lot of areas that I had to wrestle with because some of what they were saying, and the philosophies behind it, didn’t match up with what I understand scripture to say. So here is basically how training camp went down for me:
1. Stubborn frustration. If you want me to change what I think on something, you don’t get to just say it and expect me to slurp it off your silver spoon. I’m stubborn, and I’m educated, which can be to my benefit, and to my detriment. But either way, show me in scripture, with solid exegesis backing it up, and then I’ll listen and maybe change my thinking.
2. Redirecting conversations. My squad leaders were quick to assess that I was feeling somewhat defiant over what was being taught as truth, and on several occasions I had side conversations where, despite not necessarily changing my beliefs, I was reminded to believe the best about the teachers and their intentions. That’s love. And that’s what God calls me to. Mark 12:30-31
3. Consuming scripture. If I heard something I didn’t think was quite right, I was going to the source. I did not have access to my commentaries, professors, or seminary buddies, so if I wanted to study up on something, I had to search the scriptures. I probably spent more time in the word those ten days at training camp than I did in the whole month prior. Shout out to the Bereans. I was reading scripture with a thirst for truth that I wish I had every day of my life.
4. Utterly dependent prayer. I learned to turn first to God when something came up that was about him and his ways that was new to me, or that did not seem to accord with what I believe to be true. I couldn’t call up Dr. Slusser, or my pastor, or my friend Daniel, or whomever, to help me think through something, which is not a bad thing – believers are not meant to be in isolation. But I learned to ask God before asking others, is this right? Is this true according to scripture? Will you help me be humble to realize I don’t know everything, but discerning to know what is correct? I had never before prayed in such a way that I asked God open-ended questions, and he has rarely been the first person I turn to when I need help. That changed for me at training camp.
5. Loving my neighbor. In one of my delves into the word, I read through 1 John, where John reminds us to love each other, and that anyone who believes the true gospel is on the same team as me. I may have different views on some particular issues, but in the context of the World Race, which is not a local church, that does not prohibit me from loving and serving alongside the staff, my squad-mates, and the various missionaries with which we will partner. I needed that reminder, desperately.
6. Thankfulness for my education. My master’s degree is a Master of Arts in Biblical Studies. I used to define that as just a general Bible degree. But now I realize, my degree is in “How to study the Bible.” I do not know everything about God and his word; I do not have the best or most accurate systematic theology. But I have been trained to study the Bible. I know how to go about rightly dividing the word of truth, and I am so thankful for that, and I want to be a better steward of that knowledge than I have been since finishing school.
7. Renewed desire to study. I have been so prideful about my beliefs, and feeling really self-satisfied in the theological statement I had to write and defend in order to graduate. But at the end of camp, I am humbly aware that I must continue to learn, to continue to expand my knowledge of my unfathomable God. I may not come out majorly changing my stance on the core theological issues, but I will have pursued God, and sought to know him as he wishes to be known. And that is what the World Race staff wanted for me all along.
8. Readiness for what is to come. Since returning from training camp, I have noticed in myself a greater boldness to pray for people, and to encourage them to pray. I turn to God in prayer more than I ever have in my life. I also have a greater boldness to speak truth in love to the other believers in my life, for edification and encouragement. I am excited to be able to use what God has given me, in my education and in my personal relationship with him, to love and serve others, both on the World Race and in all other seasons of my life.
I am thankful for how God has and is using my experience at training camp to bring me closer to him.
I think for anyone who has gone through Bible College or Seminary, the World Race poses a particular set of pressures and blessings that is different than for those who haven’t. Not better, not worse, just different. And God is using all of those pressures and blessings for my good, to make me more like Christ. Romans 8:28. My response to that: thankful worship.
