18 January 2012
While we’ve been at Khaodee the LORD’s been walking me into Intercession even more. Where in Nicaragua I was questioning how to best use intercession, at Khaodee He’s been saying, “Don’t worry. What you know right now is enough. For the rest, I will lead you.”
I’ve been fasting from knowledge of situations outside of the children’s home so that I can hear the LORD better. It’s been an incredible three weeks of silence and isolation from the world, and constant conversation with the LORD. I’ve given Him permission to wake me up in the middle of the night to pray, and honestly, I don’t think there’s been more than two nights here where I’ve slept all the way through. He’s burdening me with things that I have no confirmation of, and that’s more than okay with me. In fact, I kind of like the not knowing. Because I have so little information, I know that my heart is clear of anything of mine. I can’t pray for things to go the way I think they should; instead, I have to pray that the LORD would work everything for His glory. I’m learning to pray with faith in God’s character, to have faith in my faithful God to do everything according to the best interests of His people.
Sometimes He gives specific directions, like “Heather, pray that so-and-so is protected from this-or-that RIGHT NOW.” But more often than not, I ask, “LORD, what do I need to pray?” and He just says, “Let me lead you.” So I remind God—and myself—of His character and then let Him take over. The words I write or speak or sing stun me in retrospect, because there’s no way that these are things I’d pray left to my own devices.
More than anything, I’m asking Him to teach me how to pray and He’s responding with, “pray about everything” (Philippians 4:6), “always pray and never give up” (Luke 18:1), and “If you need wisdom, ask me and I’ll give it to you” (James 1:5). He is telling me to “ask [Him and He] will tell [me] the remarkable secrets [I] do not know about the things to come” (Jeremiah 33:3). He’s told me to “ask God, the glorious Father of our LORD Jesus Christ, to give [me] spiritual wisdom and insight that [I] might grow in [my] knowledge of God” (Ephesians 1:17).
This is the first part of my Talitha Koum journey, I think. This is part of my little girl side choosing to arise and become the woman He’s growing me into. It’s about walking into a new confidence in God, a new boldness with Him and a new reliance on Him too. It’s about choosing to say “Yes and Amen” to whatever His will is, and praying as He leads me. It’s about learning to have His heart for situations, His eyes to see clearly, His words to speak life and His ears to listen to the whispers of heavenly things. It’s about partnering with the LORD in a tangible way, and that, honestly, is worth every sleepless night to me.
“God shapes the world by prayer. The more praying there is in the world, the better the world will be, the mightier the forces against evil… The prayers of God’s saints are the capital stock of heaven by which God carries on His great work upon the earth. God conditions the very life and prosperity of His cause on prayer.” -E.M.Bounds
