This year began with a bit of a rocky start. I had a stomach virus our last couple of days in Nepal and a respiratory infection our first week of ministry here in India. This was my third time to be sick in a month and being sick in a third world country is not very fun. India has definitely been my hardest month of the race by far. If there was a month that has made me want to quit and go home it was definitely this one. I definitely had a lot of mountaintop experiences in my relationship with God in Nepal, so it hasn’t been very fun walking in the valley this month. At the end of the day, I know God brought me on an 11 month journey, so I want to remain steadfast and committed to what He has called me to complete and not quit when things get hard.
At the beginning of the month, God revealed to me what He wants me to walk through the next four months with my new team. After spending some time in prayer the words He gave me were pruning and healing. There’s nothing fun about either of these words. I know the reasoning behind why God is calling me to do pruning but the process of doing this is not very fun. He wants to take away the things that are dead in my life, so I can bear more fruit for His kingdom.
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing”. -John 15:1-5
One of the biggest things I’ve walked through so far on the race is identity in Christ. I know before I left home that there were definitely things in the world that I found my identity in instead of Christ. I’ve grown a lot through this process and God has shown me what it looks like to walk in new identity as His daughter. He’s shown me the authority and inheritance I should be claiming and walking in so I can be more effective for His kingdom. I’ve received more spiritual gifts from God since I’ve been walking more in what He has for me. I know I still have a long way to go.
Since I left home I’ve been using my free time to read a lot of books that will help me grow in maturity as a Christian. I’ve read books on how to be emotionally healthy, be more vulnerable in relationships, grow in intimacy with God and others, walk in identity in Christ, prepare to be a help meet for my future spouse, be free of shame and feeling unworthy, etc. I’ve been putting the things I’ve been learning in practice too. I can see how God is bringing me more freedom and slowing transforming me through the process. I know it’s way too easy to get to a place where we get stuck where we are at, but God is always calling us into deeper water.
John Maxwell said “You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.” I know these words to be all very true. I’m trying to make little changes daily in becoming more like Christ so overtime they will add up to be big things. Change is not always easy but God gives us the grace to make this possible.
A few of the best books I’ve read on the race are Scary Close by Donald Miller, The Gift of Imperfections by Brene Brown, Victory Over the Darkness by Neil T. Anderson, and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero. I’ve read about 15-20 books since I left home, but these are the ones that have helped me in my walk with God. I know God will continue to reveal to me in the coming months more things I can be pruning and working on each day.
