My Life Partner: By Tiffany Berkowitz

At
training camp last year, just before we left for the race, Heather and
I were carefully placed on the same team. I was appointed as her team
leader, and from the very beginning…
We couldn’t stand each other.

Month 1 of the race was miserable at best between the two of us. I can look back and remember maybe one or
two memories that we shared together that still bring a smile to my
face. Like the time she wore a red shirt and white shorts, and I wore a
white shirt and red shorts… and we just walked around all day and
awkwardly stood in front of people in silence until they noticed our
opposite colors… (come on, it’s funny).
But
the deep-rooted insecurities, the silent judgments, the violent
comparison game, and the profound misunderstanding that stood between
her and I created a gap between us that we refused to cross… no matter how awkwardly cute our outfits were.

Month
2 was strikingly worse than month 1. In all honesty, I can’t think of
one time that her and I truly enjoyed each others company. Most of the
time, we just avoided any sort of personal contact with each other.
Every
now and then, one of us would passively launch a spear into the other
one, which was always graciously returned with false humility.
She drove me crazy, and I sent her over the edge.

I
shuffled into the clinic in Nicaragua at the end of month two, and I
slid down against the wall in pure exhaustion. I was sobbing. I
couldn’t catch a break, I couldn’t hear the Lord, and I couldn’t
escape. I felt trapped… caged in on every side. I fell asleep on the
floor slumped against the wall, but just before I closed my eyes, I
glanced over and saw Heather laying just across the way with the same look of defeat on her face, and the same glossiness in her eyes. I didn’t know how to fix it though. I didn’t even know how to fix myself.
I just wanted sleep.

The
next thing I knew, I was being shaken gently by the last person that I
really desired to see or talk to. I lifted my head and looked up. I saw
tears welling up in her eyes, and instantly my heart melted like
chocolate in Africa. I broke for her. For the next few hours, we
spilled our hearts out to each other. We talked about the insecurities
we were walking through because of the way we had been comparing
ourselves to the other. We battled against the hundreds of lies that
the enemy had us convinced were truth, and we expressed our deep desire
to share in a sisterhood that only Christ could build. And that is where it began.

 From that defining moment on, Heather Duke and
I have walked through every celebration, trudged through every
struggle, wept through every loss, and danced in every victory… together.

She
knows the depths of my heart and I could tell you right now exactly
what she is feeling. The life decisions that we make are prayed through
and brought to the Lord together. The paralyzing lies of the enemy that
consume our thoughts are dissolved and disabled as we speak them out to
each other and battle them with truth together. The unique journey that
we are on with the Lord, and the intimate relationship that we both
share with Him is built up, challenged, and tested by the vulnerable
honesty and bold courage that we live out in our friendship.

In
the bible, there is a story of two friends who stuck closer together
than brothers. Their names were David and Jonathan. Their relationship
began with David’s defeat of the giant. David’s courage and bravery
that day affected Jonathan deeply; he
was moved to love him as much as his own life. He realized that they
shared much in common in the areas of courage, bravery, strength,
loyalty, trust and faith in God. From that day forward, they were the
best of friends. Their bond was so strong that they promised to never
let anything come between them.

In
the same way, our friendship began with the defeat of Goliath as well.
The moment that we slung the stone, and brought the lies of the enemy
tumbling and crashing down, the Lord connected our hearts permanently.
I love Heather more than I love my own life. We have committed to
laying down our own lives, desires, and agendas for each other. We have
committed to prayer, intimacy, vulnerability, and honesty in our
friendship. We are committed to do life together… wherever that may
take us.

So saying goodbye was
unbelievably difficult. I don’t know when I will see her again. But I
know it is a question of “when”… not “if”. God has woven our hearts,
spirits, and lives together into a beautiful tapestry. This is what the
Lord means by community… by the body of Christ.

She is my “covenant sister” in the words of my friend Seth Jr.