Ahh, splinters. Pesky little things you can’t always see, but you can feel. And you want them out ASAP.
Right now, God is removing a huge splinter of stubbornness from my core. This splinter is really dark on top, so you can see it clearly when you look at me, but the deeper it goes the lighter it gets, so it’s hard to see just how deep this thing really is. But I can feel it, and have known about it for a while, I just refused to do anything about it until now.
As I was preparing to share my testimony with the church in Lesotho a few Sundays ago, I found myself longing to have another growth spurt like I had in February. I prayed about it a few days in a row and asked God to show me something I can work on, something big I need to change in myself to look more like Him.
CAUTION: Be careful when you pray these kinds of things, because God does not take long to reply if your prayer is sincere and your eyes are open! =)
That next day, I was listening to some music and praying about growing more since I had been feeling kind of stagnant. I got this image of this giant splinter of stubbornness that was wedged deep inside me and God showed me He was going to take it out. By this splinter of stubbornness I mean: refusing to give people anything but tough love. When someone is feeling sick, has diarrhea, or is homesick, etc. my first reaction is to tell them to suck it up, instead of loving them and giving them the compassion they deserve in that moment. It’s so hard for me to be compassionate to those closest to me. I have no problem lavishing children and people that I don’t know with compassion, but for those who surround me, it’s a different story. AHH! This is not what the heart of Jesus looks like!!
God showed me this splinter of stubbornness I have inside me that I thought wasn’t thhhhhat big, but it does actually go really deep. It’s so deep I can’t even see the tip at this point! Changing my first reaction from tough love to compassion won’t be overnight. This will be a long process, but He can and will mold my heart so that my reactions looks like His heart, not like my flesh’s.
I asked for something big to work on, and boy did I get it! =) I had the chance to have this splinter removed in Vietnam, but I didn’t really work on it much back in March. Then a few months ago I became a team leader. I honestly think one of the reasons that God put me in this position is so that I wouldn’t be able to slack on this transformation anymore. I can’t lead and love my team well with only tough love. Jesus has a heart of compassion, and my heart’s desire is to look more like His heart every single day. I gotta get to work!
Please pray for this transformation! Splinters hurt coming out!
love,
heather
