“When we say things like “people don’t change” it drives scientists crazy because change is literally the only constant in all of science. Energy. Matter. It’s always changing, morphing, merging, growing, dying. It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to what things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change is constant. How we experience change- that’s up to us. It can feel like death or it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again.”
Yep, I did it. I included a quote from Grey’s Anatomy. While that show is known for its over dramatic characters and episodes, this quote holds so much truth to it. Whether you’re starting a new job, moving, getting out of a long term relationship, graduating, or signing up for an 11 month trip… change is constant. Humans are emotional beings and are in love with nostalgia, especially me. I constantly need to be reminded to not look back on the past and enjoy life as it comes to me. I love to hold onto old times and sometimes find myself wishing to go back. But this is no way to live. Practice makes perfect. And now, here I am, with a HUGE wave of change just slapping me right in the face.
I leave for Training Camp tomorrow at 7am. I’m arriving the day before and staying with my childhood friend Emma until the next day, when one of my squad mates will be picking me up for camp! I dropped my dog off at my moms, and it just went downhill from there. I realized it’s really here – the beginning of this trip.
And let me tell you – I was accepted into the trip the first week in January. Isn’t that insane? Some of the people I am going to meet tomorrow I have been talking to since then. It just blows my mind. This is happening. I really did this. It felt like a dream, a goal, something farrrrrrr in the distance- and here I am at the starting line.
And I am not ready. I’m freaking out while packing, nervously eating chips (all day, might I add), unpacking then repacking again, trying to think of any possible scenario that I would need specific things. And that’s where the quote from Grey’s Anatomy comes into play for me. Time to “loosen my grip”. Change is also somehow another chance. Another chance to better myself, to make some sort of difference in the world, to meet new people and new friends, to grow spiritually, physically, and mentally with God. To get a glimpse into what God has in store not only for me, but for the people around me and the communities we will see together. The winds of change might blow me off my feet, but at least I stepped into the storm with faith and with God.
I will not be posting the two weeks at camp – no phones either. I will definitely be posting afterwards and let you all know how crazy it was. I already can’t wait to share it. THANK YOU to all who have joined in on my journey. The support is overwhelming.
My life… minimized.
