As my time on the World Race begins its final chapter, I wanted to give you a big picture update from what this experience has meant to me. Thank you for all your prayers and support- they have meant more than I can express. I’m coming home changed.
“The Great Commission”
When I left the U.S. 10 months ago, I was leaving to obey the Great Commission. I was a Christian and Christians are called to “GO”, so I signed up for the World Race and I went. I looked forward to seeing the world, experiencing different cultures, meeting new people, and encountering the Lord in new ways. My dreams of living out of a backpack and living uncomfortably were coming true. Growing up in Colorado, my love of nature runs deep, and anticipation of the different mountains, oceans, and animals I was going to get to see with my own eyes drove me crazy with excitement. I had my basic Bible knowledge and some personal experiences with Jesus, but I wanted and was open to more. I knew I was made for a trip like the World Race.
Insecurities and doubt crept in as I began fundraising for fear of appearing to be asking for money for a grand adventure around the world. I was a fresh 23 year old just out of college with very little to offer anyone. I believed that I was just average and only capable of very basic opportunities. In my mind, the only reason anyone would support me financially is because of who my parents are. But it was all a lie! Every financial deadline was surpassed before it was due. So many (all of you!) came around me and supported what I now know as the beginning of my Kingdom Dream. Fundraising was just the first experience on this journey where the Lord began to combat the lies I believed about myself.
At training camp, I was chosen as a team leader of 6 other women, 3 of whom were older than me by as much as 7 years. I was surprised to be chosen. I didn’t see the things others saw in me. My mom and dad have never missed an opportunity to encourage and build me up, but this was different. None of those people had known me for more than a week, but they listened to God and he highlighted me. God believed in me.
The first two months I spent a lot of time trying to understand the things that Jesus did so I could fix myself to look like him. But I was missing the whole point. Jesus just wanted me to know him. I began to discover that the more I knew him, the more I loved him; the more I loved him, the more I desired to follow and obey him; the more I followed and obeyed him, the more I began to look like him. The more I got to know Jesus, the more I got to know myself and who he created me to be, and the journey of believing what He said about me became louder and more important than the lies I had been believing for so long. I was getting to know my Savior and learning to recognize his voice, and I still can’t get enough.
For the first four months I served as a Team Leader, being challenged and stretched in ways I didn’t know I needed, but I will forever be grateful for that season. During that time my relationship with the Lord was becoming truly personal and intimate. My intentional walk through selfishness, pride, humility, people pleasing, and surrender and so much more had begun and I didn’t want to slow down.
Month five began with an all squad debrief in Cape Town, South Africa. We had been told that there would be team changes, so my team spent time at the end of month four saying the things that need to be said, offering forgiveness, and loving each other well. I thought the Lord was preparing me for a season of learning further humility and surrender by taking me out of leadership. When I was asked to be a Squad Leader, I was overwhelmed. Not just with surprise and excitement, but with the realization that they believed in me and trusted me with more.
What I didn’t understand right away is that the greater title in leadership requires a greater amount of humility and surrender to the Lord. The last 6 months of my life have been richer than I could have ever imagined. They have also been the most challenging. I had looked forward to the community and friendships when I signed up for the Race and Squad Leading went against all my expectations. Now, my role was to be with a different team each month, serving and praying for them, and pouring into them the things the Lord had shown me and was teaching me. I was being asked to sacrifice and surrender the Race that I expected to serve the members of my squad in their journeys.
Looking back, I can only be thankful for the opportunity to lead the squad. Even more than team leading, I was challenged and drawn into more intimacy with the Lord. The way I see and love others has changed because my heart has been transformed by the selfless and unconditional love of Christ. My faith from January until now has exploded in growth. I believe in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, I believe in miracles, and I believe that I hear God’s voice. I believe God provides and equips us for anything that he calls us into. Following Jesus is all I want to do.
If I had to wrap up everything I learned this year into one sentence, it would be this: intimacy precedes fruitfulness. I read that phrase in a book a few months back, but I didn’t connect with it until recently. I set out almost a year ago with my eyes focused on obeying the Great Commission. Instead, the Lord showed me what was greater- loving him with everything I have. Don’t get me wrong, we did A LOT of ministry this year, but my heart went through a priceless transformation that has changed everything. Jesus gave his life up for me, and now I want to give up my life to follow him wherever he takes me.
“The Great Commandment”
The Great Commandment must precede The Great Commission.
*News about what’s next for me coming soon!
