I'm beginning to realize that I was made,
WE were made. —
For intimacy.
I'm going to share some visions, experiences, and words that the Lord has spoken to me while I have been in Guatemala.
Welcome to Hayden Furlow's journal..
9-15-12 I am his beloved:
"It's not about what I do and don't do. It's not about what I say and don't say.
Because God loves me 100% today. He will never love me more. And he could never love me less.
He loves me ALL the way, ALL the time. His love is unchanging.
The Lord said, "I have so much to give you, so many places to take you in my heart. But you can't go there unless you allow me to love you. And my love will break every barrier. Bring every wall crashing down. You are my beloved, and in my love, I want you to feel good about yourself."
9-20-12 He delights in me:
I got a vision of God. He was in a 4 X 4 cage hanging from the ceiling, locked up. I was holding the key to the cage.. I would walk over and unlock the cage to let him out. Ocassionally. I would open it when it was time for worship. I would open it when it was time for ministry. But as soon as it was over, I would take him by the arm, put him back into the cage, and lock it back up.
The Lord revealed this to me to remind me that He doesn't just want to be a part of the "holy" things. He wants to walk with me all the time. He wants to go get ice cream with me, and play soccer with me. He wants to be my Daddy. He delights in spending time with me.
9-22-12 Having a conversation with my Daddy:
I am sitting at the edge of the dock with my feet dipped into Lake Atitlan.
'Daddy, speak to me, what do you want me to know?'
-know that you are loved and that I am your comfort
'I don't even know what that looks like. How do I start letting you be that?'
-when you get lonely, thank me– praise me.
'But sometimes I want to tangibly feel love….'
-you will. But for now, seek me. That isn't good for you right now. I am protecting you.
At that time… I felt that God was putting my attention on a boat that was driving up.
A man drove a boat up by the dock and he had his 2 daughters with him. He went to put the rope around the booey, but he missed it. He missed the booey OVER and OVER. Sometimes he was too short, sometimes too long. It went under the boat, then he drove around, he put it in reverse… sometimes he couldn't even see the booey. He kept trying and trying until about 4 minutes later, he finally roped the booey to bring the boat in..
'okay God, cool? Are you trying to tell me something?'
– Hayden, I don't miss. I am your Daddy and I am PERFECT. I knew exactly where the booey was and I never am short and I never over-shoot. I am RIGHT ON every time. Everything I do is PERFECT. My plans are perfect for you. Trust me- I know what I am doing. Do not rely on man for things. They are not perfect. They will fail. Fall Short. Over-shoot. But when I do something, it is perfect. In me- there are no faults.
I am your perfect Daddy. BE my daughter. Just BE.
9-25-12 Speaking truth over lies:
"My past does NOT define me. I LOVE purely. I walk in confidence- not fear. I do not desire the things of this world. Your plans are better than the plans I have for myself. I AM your daughter. You are my comforter. I will walk in obedience even when I cannot tangibly feel. My eyes are fixed on you. I am a worshiper. You are my healer. Your love never quits. I hear your voice. I am humbled. I am not prideful. I am PURE-HOLY-BLAMELESS. I am forgiven. It is my joy to honor you. I will let my little light shine. I will see visions and have the gift of prophecy. I will LOVE the unloved. I will have compassion. I will sing a new song. I will NOT be complacent. You think I am beautiful and that is ALL that matters. I don't have to impress or perform for anyone. You love me just the way I am. You made me perfectly. So– I will BE ME."
9-28-12 Thanking him:
"Thank you, Daddy for intimacy. It's what I long for. You've designed me perfectly for intimacy with you. I see us walking together in a garden- hand in hand and you lean over and kiss me as I smile and gaze into your eyes. I can't stop smiling. You make me happy. I want to experience more of your love and more of your joy. You are a great Daddy, thank you for spending time with me and for speaking to me. I pray that I always desire more of you."
9-29-12 Singing praises to him:
I walked through a field.. with my eyes closed.. basking in his sunlight. I was listening to my ipod.. Singing praises to Him. He told me to get on my knees. I obeyed, as the lyrics "i'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned.." played.. Which was ironic since I was kneeling on the middle of the field. In that moment, He spoke to me
'When you are on your knees, thats when you will stand. Remember, when you are weak, I am strong. I am your strength. Don't try to stand on your own. Get on your knees before me, and I will allow you to stand."
You are his beloved.
Throw away the key you use to lock him up.
Open your ears, and He will speak to you.
Satan's lies have no power. Because Our God is greater.
Thank him through the mountains and the valleys.
Praise him. "Rejoice in the Lord, Always." -Phil 4:4
He is jealous for YOU.
He CRAVES time with you.
Walk in intimacy with him..
That's why we were created.
