I don’t know why I’m making this my first blog post. I actually had a completely different one in mind when the Holy Spirit dropped this on my heart.
A few months ago, my faith was challenged. Not the type of challenge that would cause me to turn away from God, but the kind that calls you out to step into uncharted territory. Now I have seen people set free of demons by praying for them, I’ve seen a man get out of a wheelchair and walk. I’ve seen a warlock back off because I said the name of Jesus and I myself have been completely healed of ailments after calling upon His name. So I was no stranger to the fact that He can do and will do these things in His name.
Many times we hear the stories of what happened when God came through and everyone felt good. But what about those times when His coming through doesn’t look like what we wanted it to look like? What then? Around me were many people who said they were going to go in and pray for him to be raised prior to me even feeling lead. I was curious to see what would happen if they did, but all of a sudden the excuses began to rise up and the room began to empty out as people went back to doing “life”. And I was sitting there and nervous as all get out because I felt the Lord saying “go in there and pray”. Now mind you, this wasn’t a best friend or anyone I was really even close to. I asked one of my friends to come beside me and just be there in the room with me because I couldn’t move really. I really just wanted to pray from where I was sitting, but this time, I knew I had to touch him. I had to hold his hand. So we entered the room and I was already crying before hand, but then the tears really started coming. I have to admit, I don’t like hospitals or funerals, at all. I just don’t like them whatsoever. And so I took baby steps towards his bedside, my body was shaking with uncertainty. I had to pray right then and there that the peace of God would just come over me because it’s only by His power I even was able to hold his hand.
Sitting there, I held his hand and just began to cry and plead that God would just breathe life into his lungs. And in the moment it seemed odd, but I just felt lead to play this song by Chris Burns over him, “Jesus is Alive”. While that song was playing, I was waiting for him to squeeze my hand back and sit up…but that didn’t happen. I walked out of the hospital room feeling deceived and beaten. I asked “So when are we going to see the greater things that He said we would see?” and I walked out.
The drive home was hard because my mind was going all over the place, partially being upset with the Lord that He would lead me to go in there and pray and not see anything. But that’s not what really happened. After I got a hold of myself, I just sat and asked the Lord, okay so why? And I sat and sat and cried and sat. And once I had truly settled my own thoughts, I was able to hear what He was saying.
He was seeing where my faith was. So many of the others who said they felt it, walked out but I stayed, not because this was my best friend, but because I wanted to obey my Father beyond what I felt or saw. I don’t know why he didn’t get up. That’s not something my finite mind can comprehend. But I do know that when that situation rises again, whether in a village or hospital room, I will pray.
It’s easy to feel defeated when He doesn’t show up how we expected Him to. It’s easy to let the lies of satan to infiltrate your mind, but take heart in what King Jesus has said and done. Faith isn’t faith if it only goes to the point of what we can see. I just want to pray for everyone reading this blog post.
King Jesus, I pray that you would just cause faith to rise in each of us, including myself. For those who are running the race already, set to go, or not yet running yet, I pray that the faith like Abraham had would begin to rise in each and every single one of us. The kind of faith that knows that we can trust in you regardless of what we see or what happens. You will have the glory in our lives. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
