Before reading this blog, I want to sincerely say thank you to every single person who has supported me through this journey. It hasn’t been easy but each moment has completely been worth it. As I enter into the last leg of the race, I am still short $2,245 of being fully funded. With that being said, I have until May 1st to have $15,200 in my account and June 1st to have the full amount in. These funds will keep me on the field until the end of August, allowing me to finish the race! I ask that you would prayerfully consider partnering with me financially to meet this end goal.
How can you measure the impact you’ve had in the midst of seeing little to no fruit?
The race for me at this point has lost all of its glamour. The allure of adventure and the unknown are the reality of everyday life for me. Will there be hot water? I don’t know. Will this food give me diarrhea? I don’t know. Does this person understand anything I am saying? Probably not…but then again, I don’t know.
At this point, being here on the field is a choice. It has always been a choice, but now the visions of the land flowing with milk and honey have expanded to show that from point a to b, there is a desert in between and it’s not easy by any means.
I’d like to say I love being in the desert. I’d like to say that I thrive there, but I don’t. I love the mountain tops where He is felt so strong and shown so evident. I’m terrified of the desert often times because I believe that in some way He wants to distance Himself from me. That somewhere I disappointed Him and He is teaching me a lesson. But the desert is more than that.
Albania…(Eastern Europe really) has been a desert for me. I haven’t felt Him like I had in Central America or Africa or even in simply talking about Asia. I feel a lot of nothing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved each and every person I have gotten to know here. I’ve loved the women who giggle like 5 year olds and ask to touch my hair. I’ve loved the young people and their simple yet thought provoking questions. I’ve loved the kindness and hospitality. And Albania is definitely a place I would come back to again.
But did I impact anyone letting them touch my hair? Did I impact anyone by doing a silly dance move to break the ice? Did I impact anyone by playing games with kids? Did I impact anyone by teaching them English?
I don’t know.
What I do know is that these simple acts impacted the Kingdom. King Jesus allowed everyone to touch Him. He wasn’t hostile. Jesus I believed danced at the wedding feast where He performed His first miracle, turning water to wine. He wasn’t just the Savior of the sinner, but also the friend and defender of the children. Time after time He called them to Himself and encourages us to become more like them in our walk. And Jesus was a carpenter for years before walking into His ministry. Did He teach his brothers the ins and outs of something so valuable and practical to provide a better life for them after He would ascend to heaven? I don’t know, but I’d like to think so.
So as I am in the midst of the desert, instead of complaining and grumbling, I am choosing to rejoice. To rejoice in the fact that though I may not feel Him as often, I know He is right there with me. To know I might not see amazing things happen, but to know that He is in the midst of doing something amazing.
The desert isn’t so scary anymore. It’s a place of complete and total reliance on the Lord. A place for Him to showcase His vast yet knowable love for me and those here in Eastern Europe. It’s a place where my loud and bubbly persona fades into the background and Jesus takes center stage. It’s a place where the lifeless find life, the thirsty find water, and the hungry find food. It’s a beautiful place full of opportunity as long as you don’t give up.
King Jesus, may I cling to you in this desert time. May I not cling to you out of fear or to get a “free” ticket to heaven or because it’s the “Christian thing” to do. May I cling to you because of love. May I cling to you not for my glory, but that you would shine radiant here in Eastern Europe. I’m a minor character in a major story that has been written through the ages. But may you use all this minor character has for you to get the most glory. Amen.
