The ten days that I just spent at training camp have been some of the most amazing and life changing days of my life. I am even more excited to go forward with this journey that the Lord has for me in these next nine months than I was before. I love my squad and I am so pumped to get to know them and grow closer with them as we all walk with the Lord together and bring to Kingdom to others around the world.
I am a worrier and a HUGE overthinker. At the beginning of training camp and the week leading up to it I was very nervous and anxious about many things. I was afraid that people wouldn’t like me, that I wouldn’t pass the fitness test, that I was unprepared for the coming year (which, mind you, is the whole point of training camp), and that I was unqualified to share the gospel. After a few days I realized that these things were not true and that there was no reason for me to have the level of anxiety that I had.
The beginning of training camp was, honestly, overwhelming. However, I realized I was seen in my struggles both by God and by the people around me. My team leader offered to pray for me one night at the beginning of camp, it was extremely impactful and meant so much to me. It made me feel so loved and seen by the Lord and His people that I am in community with.
Over the next couple of days I continued to pray that I would no longer be anxious because of the knowledge that God was with me, that He had brought me this far for a reason, that He would never leave my side and He never has. It was about the third day of camp (all of the days have kind of blended into one big memory and I’m struggling to pinpoint exactly what day all of these things happened so please bear with me lol) that I was feeling a little weird and off about mid day and I could not for the life of me figure out why. It wasn’t until later that evening during worship that I figured out what it was. We were singing a song and a part of the song was:
“Day and night
Night and day
The angels sing Your praise
They don’t worry
They just keep on singing”
As we were repeating this part of the song I realized what was different and why I felt kinda weird. It sunk in that I was at peace and I had finally fully surrendered all of my anxieties to the Lord over the past few days and it felt SO GOOD. I didn’t realize how tightly I was holding onto all of my feelings of uncertainty and overwhelming anxiety until I wasn’t anymore and it was so freeing to surrender all of my worries onto Him.
Training camp has been one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had and it has made me even more excited for launch in the fall. I am so happy to say that I am less anxious and I know that God will lead all of us to do great things and grow closer together as we love others the way Jesus did. For any of my squadmates that may be reading this I love y’all SO MUCH and I am over the moon to spend nine months with you!!
Thank you to everyone that has been praying for me and my squad as we continue on this journey together, until next time 🙂
