When it comes to missions trips, there is a period of time towards the end where all you can see is that end date.
You’ve been on the field for weeks, months, years, whatever the case… and as the date slowly approaches, you find yourself more focused on that date than you are what is right in front of you “now now” (that’s South African for right now).
I look at every single mission trip I have done and I see this habit in myself; and my time in Africa is not exempt from it either… although I’ll be real, I thought for a while that I really wasn’t paying any attention to the end date. I somehow convinced myself that I was focused on here instead of going home… it is crazy how powerful our minds can be at even lying to ourselves.
But I did… When I go home, I won’t really be going “home.”
My parents and I just recently moved from New Mexico to South Carolina (in September to only be temporary) and since I have been in Africa, my parents moved to Alabama temporarily. So I won’t even be going back to South Carolina. I’ll be going straight to Alabama when I get back into the states and staying there for a month… and then after that I’m not really sure what God has planned for me. So I don’t even have a physical home to be going “home” to, and that thought played into me thinking that I wasn’t thinking about going home too much…
But my idea of getting home has just been to get back to a place where I can have rest and peace and the comforts that come with being in the states… and not just physical rest, but that deep soul rest. I want to see my parents and have the comfort of being with them and my doggo.
Being in Africa has been one of the hardest things I have ever done and I want the things that comfort me…
But that’s not what God has called me into… ya know?
He doesn’t say “Be comfortable, Hanna. You’ll reach so many people that way. You’ll build a really sweet relationship with me by being comfortable and living easily.”
I kinda wish that’s what He would say to me sometimes… or like, all of the time… but I guess what fun is that?
About 2 and a half months ago He called me to go to Africa for three months and lead a team of young adults to serve the Lord and His people… two weeks later I left on a radical “Yes,” and an expectant heart. And now I only have two weeks left in Africa… And then I will be back in the states.
That thought excites me (but also kinda sucks) for multiple reasons… because I will be comfortable but I will also be extremely uncomfortable because there will be so many unknowns that God will have to show up in next…
But that also means that this season is coming to an end.
I’ve almost been in Africa for three months.
I’ve seen God do big things and I’ve watched my team step into really beautiful moments with Him and the people around them.
I’ve had the chance to love on them and disciple them… I’ve not always done so well, but I love the crap out of them and I cover them in so much goodness & in prayer because they are God’s children and deserve so much sweetness.
With these last two weeks… It’s going to be hard to not think about going home… because in all honesty, my heart really wants to be home.
But God has called me to something higher.
A couple of people on my team have been passing around this book and one of the main themes is about being where your feet are… it has been a major phrase throughout our team these past couple of months… It never really connected with me until I started writing this blog.
Being here now now. Where my feet are.
Be here through all of the fights;
Be here through all of the laughter;
All of the growth; all of the heartache; all of the celebrations; all of the pain…
Just. Be. Here.
Sometimes that’s really freaking hard; and sometimes people won’t let you be there for them, but you just be in the “here” and you try to love on people and pursue people… no matter who it is… Because that’s what Jesus did.
When Jesus was on his way to Galilee but stopped at the well… he could have kept going, but the Lord (and his feet) took him to where he was and he stopped and loved the crap out of that Samaritan women. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have; Samaritan’s and Jews didn’t mingle… But he could not leave that well until he told her about the living waters that would replenish her. This women… who people in her town viewed as less than, was met by Jesus because he was focused on being where he was.
I only have 2 weeks left… even less than that by the time I am able to post this (#WIFIprobs). While I am learning the balance of caring for my spirit, I don’t want to miss out on what God is planning.
God has been building an enduring spirit in me… and while I would love to be home, I have not been released from this mission yet.
If you let yourself think too much on the future instead of surrendering it to God, you might just miss what is right beneath your feet and around you.
Don’t miss what God is inviting you into.
Be here now now.
