This past month, I spent my time in Turkey. I ended up there to get further medical help that Albania could not provide; but I don’t think that’s the reason I went at all. This is going to be chunky and my heart races as I write this with Jesus because I hope to find the right vocabulary to capture what I wish to convey in this blog; but I suppose that is not for me to worry about.
For one, don’t worry, my health is fine. I have met with lots of different doctors which in the end lead me to a specialist that was finally willing to help. But, I don’t want to focus on me, AT ALL. But I appreciate all the prayers in the process.
But now, two, we ended up in Turkey by no accident. Turkey is a closed country, meaning we couldn’t bring our bibles into the country and we weren’t allowed to openly talk about Jesus to anyone under the age of 18 unless they directly ask us a question and it’s just a difficult country to get into in general. But, we got into the country in the absolute easiest way possible because of the medical evacuation. It was a miracle in itself that my insurance covered my flights, my hotel fees and all of the hospital bills considering the length of time we were in Turkey as well as the amount of tests that were run.
I say all of this to highlight the fact that Jesus was SO ever present throughout every single moment. We met numerous taxi drivers, having conversations with them through google translate. Going down to the cafe at the hospital and becoming friends with the workers there. All of the people we couldn’t talk to but got to smile at. Having awkward encounters with the nurses as they tried to communicate with us and the sweetest cleaning lady that would dance. The various translators that we got to have conversations with and become friends with. All of the shopping we did at pull & bear or buying figs at a different stand almost every single day. I spent so much time looking out of windows talking to Jesus; He would bring my attention to certain people walking on the streets to pray for. I got the privilege of meeting all of these children of God.
But, something that I recognized so quickly was how much Jesus loves these people. In a way that I have never seen before. I could easily tell that all of the people there were so sad. Searching. But His presence was so obvious, just absolutely everywhere. It’s not really something to find words for, more just something you would have to experience.
One day, I was sitting in a Starbucks that I went to everyday for a week, and I just stopped and looked around me. Looked into people’s eyes. People’s eyes say a lot about them. Not their eye color or the shape of their eyes, but what their eyes are saying. They are all sad and searching, just like everyone else in the world. It’s how He created us! He created us to NEED Him!
A tangible example of this were the masques that were all around. We visited one called the Hagia Sophia which was originally a Greek Orthodox Church, then turned into different Christian cathedrals until it was transformed into an Ottoman imperial mosque from 1453 to 1931. It was then secularized and opened as a museum after that. So, anyways we were able to go inside and see what the inside looked like. It was breathtaking to see the original mosaics of Mary and Jesus and John the baptist. But, it was also amazing to literally see the physical battle between humans from throughout all of these years. It’s almost like the people knew that it wasn’t worth it to tear down Jesus off the wall because they didn’t actually find any type of worth in their own religion. It was just their culture. They knew that it wouldn’t actually mean anything to tear those pictures down because it was where their hearts were, even though they were searching the wrong place, this example clearly shows the constant battle that is going on in our hearts. The battle that He has already won for us.
Romans 8:18-21 The Voice version paints a beautiful picture of what I am trying to find words for. “Now I’m sure of this: the sufferings we endure now are not even worth comparing to the glory that is coming and will be revealed in us. For all of creation is waiting, yearning for the time when the children of God will be revealed. You see, all of creation has collapsed into emptiness. (and this is what I am really trying to get at) Still He placed within it a deep and abiding hope that creation would one day be liberated from its slavery to corruption and experience the glorious freedom of the children of God.”
God created us to need Him. God created our hearts to yearn for Him, for us to know that when we don’t have Him somehow we know that something is missing. That we are just dust without Him.
So, I never got to tell someone, “hey, did you know that Jesus loves you.” But, that doesn’t matter. That’s not the point. The point was, I was there. Listening to Jesus. Obeying Jesus. Praying when He said pray. Sitting when He said sit. Resting when He said rest. And, even when I didn’t choose to obey Him, His work was still fulfilled. God doesn’t need us. We need Him. Looking back on the last month, it was definitely one of the most fruitful times with Him. But, my satisfaction means nothing. I don’t deserve that!
Which leads me to a reminder of what a gift it is to see the fruit of our “labor.” And I put that word in parenthesis because following Jesus, listening to Jesus is not a job. It is a privilege. (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20) But anyways, when people would ask about what Jesus is doing in Turkey all I can think to say is that He is so in control. I didn’t get to see anyone come to know Jesus. I just listened. I want to express the weight of just how special it is whenever we get to see God’s work. There. Right in front of your eyes. Clear. Undeniable. Obvious. When Jesus was on earth, He was not obvious. He was ordinary. He listened. He was simple. He was a carpenter’s son for goodness sake! Yes, He performed some pretty freakin crazy miracles but, it was not to be seen but because He humbled Himself before God. And God has allowed us to hear about it. To hear a few stories from Jesus’ life on earth. Brings tears to my eyes!! That The Creator Of The Universe, our Lord and Savior, would give us tangible reasons to trust Him.
And you know the phrase “what would Jesus do,” well I don’t want to hate on it, but I don’t really agree with it. Think about it. When Jesus was on earth, did He look to Himself when He needed to make decisions? Did He try to recall what He did the last time He healed a blind person? No! He just listened to God and seeked guidance from Him!
Knowing that listening to Jesus is simple should bring us such joy! Just knowing that ALL we have to do is listen! It’s just so that. And only a small portion of the people who are reading this will actually understand the weight of what that means. I don’t think we could ever really fully grasp the weight of this selfless gift He has offered us. When you listen to Jesus, everything else falls into place. Friendships. Peace. Unity. Gentleness. Clarity. Joy. Comfort. Trust. Family. Love. L I F E. And, listening does not mean answers. Actually, a lot of the time it’s the opposite of that and MAN is that such a gift. (Matthew 11:27, 1 Corinthians 2:10-11, Isaiah 40:13-14) We as humans don’t have the brain capacity to even know what will happen in a day. How would it be if He allowed us to see a whole week, a month, a year?! We’d probably go absolutely insane!
So I put all of these jumble of words together to say that I am learning that I can’t take advantage of being able to see a microscopic piece of what He is doing in me on this earth when He gives me a glimpse of what I should do throughout my day or throughout my life; none of us can. Just listen knowing you NEED Him, that HE IS GOD, and HE IS GOOD (Psalm 34:8).
