You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3
I believe God allowed this night of agonizing spiritual warfare to occur so that I could come to this conclusion before embarking on the Race:
There is no greater comfort than the peace of the Lord.
Four of my best friends were with me the day I decided to apply for the World Race. What a blessing. Four hours of encouragement, exhortation, prayer, brainstorming, love, food, and laughs. But the second they all left my house, the devil entered it. Without them there to reassure, confirm, and encourage, I was left alone to combat the army of doubt, fear, discomfort, and the unknowns.
I laid in bed wondering, "What in the world was I thinking? I can't do this! I've let it go too far, too fast. It's a whole year! I wont' have a mattress…. I'll be dirty…. bugs everywhere….no family or friends….stretched beyond comfort….forced to expose my heart and raw self each and every day….motion sickness…no sense of "home"…..no more "getting pretty"….this sucks. I want to back out.
The fear in my gut was nauseating.
Nice try, Satan. But fear does not come from the Lord. God did not give me a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Tim. 1:7). What I was experiencing was the opposite of all three: Weakness (I'm not brave enough to do this), selfishness (I don't want to leave my comforts), and anxiety (what if…). What I was experiencing was spiritual warfare.
You see, the enemy's job is to steal, kill, and destroy, and that is exactly what He was trying to do to me that night: Steal my joy, kill my faith and trust, and destroy God's plan for me.
Somehow, God, in all His knowledge and sovereignty, lines everything up just right. He had equipped me months prior with the tools and insight I needed to combat the attack of the enemy. Worship, Prayer, and the Word.
So I worshiped. And I prayed for peace. Perfect peace. And I asked God to confirm His plan for me through scripture. And again, in all His sovereignty, He had it covered. The chapter up next in my Bible plan was Isaiah 6. If you haven't read it, you should probably go do that now.
And peace came. Perfect peace. I called my parents the next day and asked to come home and talk to them about my decision. I had my close group of friends praying over the conversation, and it went far better than it should have. I can honestly say that since that night of victory, I have not turned back. Everyone asks me if I'm scared for what this trip entails, and I explain to them that I was scared. Very scared. But God has given me peace, and the perfect peace of the Lord is the greatest feeling.
Like I said from the beginning, I think God wanted to show me this at this time. So that when I'm on the field, and I'm uncomfortable, and dirty, and my back hurts from sleeping on the ground, and I want to get pretty and blow dry my hair, and I want to see my old friends and family and eat a hamburger…. I can delight in the great truth that there is no greater comfort than the peace of the Lord.
