It’s 9pm the night before training camp and I still haven’t packed.
I finished my summer job working at all girls Christian camp about 30 minutes prior and just set an alarm for 2:45 am the next morning to ensure that I wouldn’t miss my flight to training camp from upstate New York.
Wait, what?
What the Lord did to get me to training camp was INCREDIBLE. But walking into training I had no idea the challenges I would be put face to face with.
I’d love to share a few moments that marked my experience during those 10 days.
Presence that bred contentment
Entering into training I had no idea how hard the adjustment would be for me. Coming straight from a long summer, all I desired was rest: physical, emotional and spiritual rest. I was thrown into what felt like the training that I had done 3 months earlier for camp, but this time I was a little less fresh. I found myself thinking about home and longing to be there often.
It quickly became a fight to stay present. I knew that I didn’t want to miss out on what God wanted to teach me/show me during these 10 days, but it was a moment by moment challenge to be all in.
In each moment that God helped me choose to be present I found more contentment in being where I was whether it be: worship, discussions with my team, sessions and small moments in-between. The more present I was, the more I experienced God’s presence and the more I was reminded that God works in the present.
Frustration that led to Embrace
The next thing I found was that I had expectations.
Expectations about what interactions with my teammates would be like and about what my role would be on the team that I was apart of. I soon found myself wrestling through my own frustrations, as these expectations were broken.
I had to wrestle with the fact that my teammates were not the same people I had just spent the last 3 months developing relationships with.
I had to wrestle with what role God desired for me to play on this team. Did he want me to lead in some way or did he want me to walk alongside and support a good leader even if that meant that I didn’t lead anything?
As I wrestled with my own frustration over these things I felt God say, how will you embrace what I have placed in front of you?
How will you invite people into being who I have created them to be?
How will you choose to cherish instead of change what I have placed in front of you?
Man, don’t you love it when God speaks? Sometimes it’s convicting, sometimes it’s encouraging, sometimes its life altering, sometimes it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s always what you need to hear.
As soon as I took a step away from frustration and a step towards embracing my teammates and what role God desired for me to play I saw a huge difference.
I realized that embracing my teammates invited them to be exactly who God created them to be and that whatever role God had for me on this team was better than anything I could plan or predict.
The hilarious thing is that after I had embraced the idea of not being a leader, I was asked to be a team leader.
Obedience that turned into Boldness
A common thing that I felt God asking me to do during training was to be obedient. In messages I heard, in conversations I had and in quiet moments of talking to and listening to him.
I heard him gently ask me: will you say yes to me in obedience even if you don’t understand it? Will you say yes to me in obedience even if you don’t like it? Will you give up good things I’ve given you just because I’ve asked you to?
In hearing these things I felt convicted.
I felt convicted to share with my team deep shame and struggles that I had experienced. I felt convicted to change the nature of friendships that I had and set boundaries for myself in them. I felt convicted to set aside a relationship with someone that I care about just because I knew the Lord had asked me to.
In doing so, I began to feel a sense of boldness and it made me want to follow each and every conviction that the Lord places within me whether big or small in obedience. Don’t get me wrong, being obedient in each of these areas was difficult, but I knew that I wouldn’t regret any of these decisions simply because the Lord had asked it of me.
In all of this, I know that he has what is best for me in mind. I don’t doubt his overwhelming goodness in the midst of these situations one bit.
In light of these wild 10 days I can say that I believe training is done for a reason. We train to practice, to work through struggle, to wrestle with pain, to prepare for what is to come, and to ultimately develop steadfastness.
I cannot even imagine what challenges the next 11 months will bring but if it results is greater amounts of steadfastness, I have one thing to say: IM IN.
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4
If you would like to see what an actual day of training camp was like please watch this awesome video made by one of my squad mates J
Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this!
