This past month in Ecuador, I have really been exploring what it looks like to worship through creating with the Lord. On my original race during my 8th month the Lord spoke to me. He gently made me aware of the fact that I had shut off many of the ways that I had creatively connected with him in the past, because I didn’t see myself as having enough talent.
There was always someone that was more gifted than me.
So, I stopped dancing, I never tried to sing/lead worship and I never tried to learn to play an instrument, even though I knew I connected with the Lord greatly through music.
I believed the lie that the messy, imperfect sides of my worship were ugly and maybe even unpleasing to the Lord.
That if my offering to the Lord didn’t fit into what I thought was good enough, it shouldn’t be seen by others.
During these past two months I have learned something different.
I have learned that our offerings of worship to the Lord are often messy, but that makes them beautiful.
Our messy worship is often brave, unfiltered and unafraid.
It is unique and new each time, because it’s focused on being with the creator and not on the outcome of what we actually create.
This worship simply delights in being in his presence and isn’t distracted or changed by the presence of those around us.
In embracing messy worship, I have started to worship the Lord in a new way through creating art, (another piece of myself that I decided to stop tapping into, because I didn’t see myself as having talent in this area).
So, I’d love to share some of the things I created this month with you, in order to hopefully encourage you to try connecting with/worshiping the Lord in a new way.
During my month in the states I picked up a piece of art that someone had created of a cactus, (because I love them) and found this written on the inside, “In times of drought I will not thirst for there is living water stored in me.” This stood out to me and it made me of think of the living water that is stored inside of me, (the Holy Spirit) that I have access to always. So even if I am surrounded by dry ground in a desert or am in the midst of winter and my branches are bare, I can draw from the living water stored inside of me.
In my first month in Colombia, I decided to pick flowers from each country and press them in my journal as a souvenir instead of simply buying something. THEN, during my time in Ecuador I got an even better idea…why don’t I also create something with them. These flowers (from Colombia) represent a vision that the Lord gave me. As I learned what I looked like to walk in greater freedom with the Lord I was given a vision of a physical place that I would be with the Lord when I was most free. I would be in a beautiful field dancing, full of joy and freedom.
(Also made with flowers from Colombia)
During my first week in Ecuador the Lord gave me a vision of myself being planted in a raging river, where both my feet and hands were planted in the water as I bent down to get closer. As this was happening, the water was being poured into my soul, then oaks of righteousness begin to grow around me as one begin to grow in my soul. Then the Lord spoke to me this: “You will be an oak of righteousness as you soak in my river. My river is always rushing you just have to take the step to get into it and be healed, refreshed, and made new again. Stand in the river, plant your feet and reach down to soak in all of it that you can.” This is a recreation of the vision the Lord gave me + what he spoke to me.
I painted this one afternoon when I had only a few minutes to create. As I chose colors and started painting I had no idea what I was creating then the Lord spoke: “I am like a vibrant breeze.” Then I knew the I was painting his spirit moving in its beauty, gentleness and vibrancy.
I painted this as I grieved my sin one afternoon. I felt broken, and asked to feel what the Lord felt when I chose something else over him and turned my back on him. As I prayed he gave me something to paint. He told me that when his blood touched my being for the first time I became an overcomer and I cannot go back from that. He has written it in my innermost being and I cannot undo what he has done. His blood touched me and I became white as it poured over my head for the first time. He has sown royalty (the purple) into my inmost being, because I am of the royal bloodline. Light flows out of me, because I carry his spirit within me. I shine because of he who lives within me. I am simply a lamp that allow his beauty to shine forth through it.
Then I asked the Lord what he thought of me in the midst of the pain and brokenness that I felt. These are a few things he said. I wrote them on small pieces of paper as physical representations of the banners that the Lord places over me even when I don’t feel any of these things. What he says about us is not always the same as what we feel about ourselves.
This next month I have decided to take a picture each day with my Polaroid camera of where I see the Lord. I love the beauty of capturing things in one shot, just as they are.
Here are my pictures from the past two days.
I plan to post the pictures I take every few days, (however often I get wifi) on my Instagram story. So, feel free to check those out to know where I see the Lord this month in Peru. 🙂
That’s all for now!
Thanks for reading 🙂
Han
