Some people respond “better” to rejection than others; I am in the latter group of individuals. This week has been quite painful, if I am to be honest. I feel as though I am entering a new stage or ‘chapter’ in life, where my focus is being forced to be upon my God and my mission in life. Which is a “good” thing, right? I have been fighting against it this week as bad news was followed up by even worse news. I had no idea that this week would contain such pain and tears, no idea whatsoever.
Yet, yesterday, amid the few hours I had to sort through the emotional and professional carnage that laid at my feet, I had a choice. I had a choice to run away and be temporarily ‘filled’ by finite things–like playing with a friend’s dogs (which always makes me happy) or taking care of a friend’s son or blasting The Civil Wars, Explosions in the Sky, and Bon Iver so loud that I could not think. At one point–I wanted to do all three at the same time, but I finally came to the realization that, once again, my ultimate refuge is not in pets, people, and music–but in a God who loves, cares, and comforts. I needed to feel His love, His caring hand, and listen to His comforting words yesterday afternoon.
So, I sat myself down, picked up my Bible, and read Ecclesiastes 3. More than once. More than twice. At about the sixth reading of it, I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I began to feel loved, cared for, and comforted in a way that none of my choice alternatives could even slightly compare to. I felt a refuge and strength that was not my own and I had hope.
I had hope that no matter what else is to come, I know Who to run to, regardless of where I go, who I am with, and what I am doing.
Now, a day later, I find myself exhausted from the week’s stress, yet the comfort of His Word and the words of my friends (Tiffany, Renee’, Bekah, Jeanie, and Jonathan) have all reminded me of Him and His comfort that goes beyond my understanding.
