A few years ago, a dear friend of mine and I had a debate about the pros and cons of being a perfectionist. It lasted a few hours and ended with smug smiles on both of our faces. But it didn’t end there. In my attempt to defend myself and my “perfectionistic tendencies” (for I thoroughly disdain being labled a “perfectionist”), it dawned on me: I am a perfectionist. Not fully, though, thank God. But I still am and I struggle with this quite regularly, if not daily.
The thing is, I don’t expect anyone else to be perfect, but I do expect myself to be “better,” if not “superior.” Which is ridiculous, if I actually sit down and think about it for a moment before I rush off to work. Who am I to set a higher standard for myself than anyone else, including God? Who am I to say, “You know what, God? I know you love me and made me the way I am supposed to be, but I don’t think I am good enough. So, I am going to work really hard at not making mistakes or disappointing others or whathave you. Okay? Okay!”
I know realize that setting a higher standard for myself has helped me in regard to my drive and the multitude of interests and activities that I am involved in, but it also does not leave much space for God and His grace and mercy–for both when I fail and when I succeed. Thus, I am trying to become anti-perfectionistic. Now, I don’t plan to become sloppy or unkempt or anything along those lines, but I am going to try to live with God’s grace and mercy more at the forefront of my mind than as an after-thought.
