WOW! WOW WOW WOW!
So much can change is such a short amount of time, as I will come to find out even more day by day.
I am humbled. So very humbled.
On my first blog post, I wrote at the end ‘What a glorious Father and a glorious life ahead of me.’ Oh, how accurate that is.
The biggest truth that I have known and always will know is GOD IS GOOD. Just when you think you can’t do it. Just when life throws curveballs making you question everything. Just when it feels like things are crashing down……
Our good, good Father shows up. His timing is beautifully perfect. Let me tell you one more time. His timing is PERFECT.
There is no doubt in my mind that my Father cares for me. I have never questioned that God wants what is best for me. But we all know how the enemy likes to work..he works within our biggest insecurities. He is in those little cracks within our life, creeping in unnoticeably. He definitely tried to squeeze his tricky ways into my life. He brought all the worry and doubt and fear…all at once.
I felt like running away. Nothing made sense. “I’m not good enough.”
God kept telling me to hold on these past few weeks. Hold onto Him because He has a plan. I feel God speaks to me the most through a sense of peace. Maybe that’s what I meant in my last post when I said a ‘spiritual high.’ The peace God gives me is unlike anything I’ve ever felt. My whole journey through this, I have found peace. In one way or another, I feel okay. I wasn’t insecure about being able to go on the race. If God called me to this, He will provide. And oh how He does. In big ways and in small. Financially and spiritually. God cared then and he cares now.
I keep listening to the song called excavate by Macklemore. Not a huge fan of him but the song..ohhh… the song has this verse ‘I found peace. I found peace. I found peace.’ Go listen to it. Something about the way the song goes and how it is sang really gets me. Peace. Who wouldn’t want to feel peace? I feel it in the core of my body. I feel that peace rushing through my veins. I feel God is holding me real tight and I feel safe. Comforted knowing that Gods got me-Through the good and bad, God brings such liberating peace. That I know!
Life isn’t always going to be super great. It isn’t going to make sense and most of the time, you feel like you’re waiting around for what seems like forever. But the waiting and the struggling is only going to bring you to truth. To life. To Jesus. To surrender. To falling on your knees in abandonment. The enemy can bring it on because I know who the real winner is. It’s God and He is with you and with me. We are the winners here, not the enemy.
To think that doubt can creep in and take over our mind, allowing us to think things that aren’t truth is scary. To feel so nervous trying to trust while constantly questioning is hard.
But you know what’s even harder? Trying NOT to let God wreck your world. Cause He sure wants to… and trust me… He will.
Let’s be more open to letting God wreck our world. In big, enormous ways and in tiny, little ways. Let us open our arms wide and surrender it all. We could be so scared that we’re shaking and can’t even put thoughts into words, but let’s do it anyway!! Surrender anyways. Try new things anyways. Find that one thing (or the millions of things) that get you. Go for it! Stop doubting and just let go. Find freedom in Gods amazing, all consuming love. This life is happening now whether we want to be apart of it or not. But trust me, when Gods in it, He is real good at making our path just right. It sure is a big, beautiful world if we put God at the center of it.
