Prior to our location change in India my team was given the location of Kolkata with a possible connection to work with people involved in the red light district. For those who don’t know what that means, a red light district is an area in a city with a concentration of prostitution and sex-oriented businesses such as brothels. When I heard about this being our potential ministry I became immensely apprehensive because it’s actually quite a trigger for me. I feel like there is much to be said about this topic and I felt prompted to write this blog a while back but struggled to type out the words. My goal of this blog is to address the sense of guilt and moral pollution that often attaches to victims of rape or sexual abuse by bringing light to this subject that is often shrouded in darkness and misunderstanding.
There is a stigma that too often follows rape victims which shows that the church’s understanding of this matter is in need of reformation. My position comes from wrestling with the scriptures to find a healing balm personally and because I have a handful of friends who have been violated in such a way. Upon examination of scripture I have found that believers ought to view someone who has been raped/assaulted as still sexually pure and I will try to break down my explanation from an apologetic standpoint through scripture.
Exodus 22:16-17 – “If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the bride-price of virgins.” From this scripture we see that fornication results in shame for the girl and her family with legal/financial ramifications for the man, who is fined. The fine or dowry that is described is a way of making restitution for dishonoring the girl and her family and also helps secure her future, which the man’s actions have threatened. The dowry “bride-price for virgins” is to ensure that the girl’s lack of sexual purity would be outweighed by the economic gain to be had. The dowry would make a girl, who was no longer a virgin, “attractive” to a future husband or the dowry penalty would serve as security to help the girl survive if no man wanted to marry her due to her lack of purity.
In Deuteronomy 22:25-29 there are two sexual cases recorded, one dealing with rape and the other with seduction. Deuteronomy 22:25-27 – “But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. But you shall do nothing to the girl; there is no sin in the girl worthy of death, for just as a man rises against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case. When he found her in the field, the engaged girl cried out, but there was no one to save her.” Scripture places rape on par with murder. Murder and rape are both capital crimes, worthy of the death penalty. In this scripture we can observe that if a man rapes a woman, he is to be executed; but no monetary payment is given to the woman. The raped person still has a life to live and yet doesn’t receive restitution in a society where sexual purity is highly regarded.
In Exodus 22:1-4 we see those who are defrauded are given economic restitution from the guilty party and despite the fact that a fornicating girl has defiled herself, scripture still made provision for her in her impure state. So then why is the girl who is raped not compensated for her real-life loss? If both the raped girl and fornicating girl are tainted with sexual pollution, then why does the innocent one end up worse off, in an economic sense, than the fornicating one? The one who fornicates is “rewarded” and the rape victim is not.
The answer is the rape victim has not actually been polluted. She is still regarded by her family and community as pure, there is no difference between her and any other virgin and therefore doesn’t need a dowry to make her attractive to a potential suitor. I will try to break this down further. Sexual purity is spiritual not physical in nature and applies to both the married and the unmarried. A person’s sexual purity is lost when he or she consents to sexual activity that is outside God’s defined boundaries. However, when someone is raped no consent is given. Although she has been physically violated, she has in no way been polluted spiritually and that act doesn’t change her state in God’s eyes.
In 1 Corinthians 6:16 we see when our hearts consent to sin, our whole being is polluted, resulting in both spiritual and physical pollution. The reverse, however, is not true: something done to us physically does not automatically taint us spiritually. Jesus said in Mark 7:15 – “there is nothing outside the man which can defile him if it goes into him; but the things which proceed out of the man are what defile the man.” It is not possible to be polluted if your heart does not first turn toward the perversion (Prov. 4:23). For example, we are in the presence of evil spirits often but until we turn our hearts toward them, we remain undefiled by their touching and enticing (Lev. 19:31, 20:6; Eph. 4:27, 6:11; James 4:7). In the same vein, No amount of mistreatment of Christ’s body could affect His spiritual integrity. All the humiliation and brutality against His physical body did not pollute Him in any way. The only way He could have been defiled was by His heart turning toward sin.
In conclusion, others cannot defile us no matter what they do to our physical bodies (Matt. 10:28). We are defiled by our own hearts lusting after strange flesh, not by strange flesh lusting after us or even abusing us. For those who have been violated need not to carry around shameful skeletons dreading the day when others find out about them (like myself). I want to say it again, there is no distinction in the eyes of the Lord between them and others who haven’t suffered in such a way. Biblically the one who has been raped is as accepted as the virgin who has not been raped. God saw no need to increase the incentives through dowry for men to marry girls who have been raped and therefore neither should we view them any differently.
There is one last thing I want to touch on. The celibate Christian is no more holy or pure than a Christian who is engaged in sexual union within the bounds of marriage (Heb. 13:4). In a society where sexual perversion is rampant, there is a danger in developing a negative perception of the gift God had originally intended. Perversion must be condemned, but the beauty of sex must also be held up as something to be cherished, treasured, and truly enjoyed. God’s law defines what is beautiful and glorifies Him and what is perverse and destroys lives – both of these need to spoken of without shame or apology.
My hope is that this blog brought objective truth to this subject and that it brings freedom for you just as much as it did for me and gives you the courage to stand firmly on truth. My hope is that you will view yourself through the lens of scripture and no longer through the lie of shame.
With much love,
Hannah
