“What is something that the Lord has shown you that you’re passionate about while being on the Race?”
A few months ago, I found myself at an ice cream shop in Quito, Ecuador. I sat at a patio table across from 2 of my friends, whom I had been sharing a house with for 3 months. We were asking each other about all the Lord had been teaching us in Ecuador and sharing in our excitement of what is to come in India. This question sparked something in my heart.
In that moment, I spoke about my people.
I spoke about my passion for my circle and the fullness that they bring into my life. I spoke about how I have seen the goodness of my Father in the way He’s placed specific people in my life. I spoke about how Jesus has given me a heart for the people running the race by my side, as fast as I am. I spoke about how it wasn’t always like that.
Coming onto the Race, I was believing the lie that people only pursued being my friend because of what I could give them, not because of who I am. My biggest insecurity/fear has always been that I would become too much for people. I knew what it had looked like to feel drained by people and never want to be that person for someone else. I had felt the wounds of being told that my emotions and needs were too much. Both ends shut me down.
I had wrestled with what it looked like to have good friendships and to be filled up by the people around me. I was in a mindset that being a good friend meant giving and giving and giving. I thought it was normal for people to take and take and take. I didn’t expect much in return and was fed by the comments made about how I was the friend that held everyone up. I believed that for the rest of my life, I would be the person pouring out and few would truly know me well enough to pour back into me.
I deeply desired a circle of people who see me the way Jesus sees me, therefore loving me with a heart resembling His.
It all began with a changed mindset on love.
Throughout the first 3 months of my race, Jesus redefined what it looks like for me to love people. I had studied the gospels and realized that Jesus didn’t love His people with tolerance and passive comments. He called them out when they were getting off track, said the hard things, pushed them to what He knew they could become, and had grace and love for them when they were down.
My issue was people pleasing. As much as I would cringe at the thought of being a people pleaser all throughout high school, my life was built around what I needed to be for someone at any given time. I thought loving people meant patiently standing by their side, waiting for them to become the person God has called them to be. Holding down my thoughts and perspective on what they should do- scared of being anything but uplifting. But, that’s not love.
Love is hard and messy and goes into the dark places to bring light.
Over time, the Lord began adding new parts of my identity in Him. I began learning how to love people by saying the hard things and stepping into the mess with them. I learned that loving my people in action and in truth is much stronger than words and speech (1 John 3:18). I learned what it looks like to fight for friendships in distance. I’ve seen that relationships where both people feel seen, heard, and known through the overflow of Jesus is the perfect representation of a relationship built on the Rock- a firm and strong foundation that can’t easily be broken. Building relationships on the Rock of Love is parallel to the way Jesus loved His people.
I’m now in a season of my life where I feel at home with the people around me. The question I was asked at an ice cream shop in Ecuador comes to my heart every once in a while. And I smile, remembering my answer and then getting to look around and remember why I’m passionate about my people. I know who’s in my circle and feel filled up daily by doing life with them. I see Jesus in my people and I’m reminded each day why I’m so passionate about my friends and all the life that is to happen together in the future.
They make me excited for life and all Jesus is doing.
I’m passionate about the Body of Christ and the power of being united as one. I’m passionate about it because I see the fruit of it daily.
A beautiful thing that Jesus has shown me has not only had to do with the people traveling the world with me right now. But, He’s given me eyes to see the amazing people at home who love me so well and have continuously shown me Jesus by fighting for me from a thousand miles away. I see their love in 3am Facetime calls (shoutout to time differences), letters that were written and given to me before the race, kind posts on social media that I see whenever wifi comes around, and email updates. Friendship wounds have been mended and my view of relationships has been redeemed by the way my people love me.
Maybe you look around and don’t feel like you have an inner circle that loves you the way Jesus does. I encourage you to ask the Lord who is there to fill you up. If there are hard things that you need to say, say it in love for the sake of your people. That’s what it looks like to fight for love.
People pleasing, tolerance, and not feeling seen is binding. The issue was not only the way other people treated me in friendships, but it was my lack of speaking my mind and my needs. I allowed myself to be walked on and manipulated and drained. What I needed was God’s lens to see my people, not just loving and seeing through my flesh. But, if each of us realize that each person just wants to be seen and heard, we will be able to love our people better.
We must become a people who see the power in coming together as One so that we can go out into all the world and share the good news. I have found that friendships is one of the most beautiful gifts that Jesus has given us in this life. We have an assignment and it’s much more of an adventure when you’re running into the world to have people by your side- running just as fast.
“I’m not responsible for what the outsiders do, but don’t we have some responsibility for those within our community of believers?” (1 Corinthians 5:12, MSG)
