Hi, people!!
Forgive me for the delay between posts – this post will give a wrap up of Colombia, a summary of debrief, and a peek into our month in Ecuador so far!
I miss and love you all so deeply – thank you for choosing to follow my journey with the race. Sweet Jesus is doing far more than I explain in a blog, so I hope I can accurately communicate how deeply I have felt His presence, and I hope it encourages you to seek his presence too.
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Leaving Colombia was hard. Our last few days in Filandia were spent with another team from our squad; they joined us for a day as we prepared to travel together to Quito, Ecuador.
We shared deep and tough emotions about the attachment we grew to the country as a whole, and we all cried together in a coffee shop downtown.
Our sweet hosts, who I have mentioned many times, came and hugged us bye. And as they walked out, I made long and uncomfortable eye contact with my team members, as we wept and (without words) processed whether or not our hearts could handle this feeling 10 more times.
I asked Jenny, one of my squad leaders, “is it always this hard?”
She sweetly responded, “No, but it’s better when it is.”
Man, there is so much truth in that.
We clearly left a huge piece of our hearts in Filandia with La Fundación.
We will deeply and painfully miss Karson, Eyson, and the kiddos we spent every day with.
But we will choose to continue to fill up on Jesus and pour ourselves out in Ecuador the same way we did in Colombia.
It’s not an easy thing to press in to.
It would be really easy to say, “my heart can’t handle that again, so I will do the work and leave the emotions to the side.”
But God didn’t design us to do his work without breaking off little pieces of our heart along the way. With every piece of my heart I leave in another country, Jesus restores it and refines me to look more like Him.
Man, I wouldn’t trade this life for anything in the world.
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When we left Colombia, we traveled with More Amor (another team) to Ipiales, Colombia, and crossed the border into Ecuador.
The bus ride from Filandia to Armenia was hilarious.
Imagine it – 12 girls, 24 bags, some very confused bus riders, and a driver that (I can bet) put the petal to the floor only to feel the bus creeping at 2 mph up a hill.
When we got to the bus terminal in Armenia, we waited for quite a while for our next bus. We got there around 3:45pm and loaded our bus at 7:30pm or so. This time was spent snacking, chatting, laughing, letting loved ones know we were alive, and soaking in the emotions of leaving a country and heading into another.
Then we loaded our bus and headed towards Ipiales.
This bus ride was supposed to be 12 hours and ended up being closer to 14 or 15. We rode the bus overnight, and even spent a couple hours in dead stop traffic walking around the mountains.
Ipiales is a city right on the border, where we had the chance to stamp our passports goodbye from Colombia and hello into Ecuador.
Talk about a funny and God-covered situation. We got into a taxi van (yes, all 12 of us and all 24 bags), and shuttled to the border.
We hopped in line and, without having to wait, walked straight up to the window, and stamped our passports.
I am going to pause here to say that while we saw the hand of God all over the provision of this travel day, we also saw the unfortunate reality of the privilege we have as Americans.
We weren’t asked any questions.
They didn’t check our bags.
They didn’t question our motives.
They didn’t desire to know anything other than that we were American.
Meanwhile, there were hundreds of Venezuelans waiting under tents for the 1 in a million chance that their name would be called – only to likely be denied – to then wait again.
Privilege rubs me the wrong way.
I’m still processing through it.
As we walked across the border into Ecuador, an unreal feeling of “holy cow we are in month 2” filled my spirit.
The month in Colombia flew by, and I will cling tight to every minute I get here.
We traveled to Quito and stayed in a seminary for the night.
That night was so sweet.
We did squats after sitting on a bus for 15 hours.
We ordered 120 pieces of pizza and split it between 20 people or so.
We played cards with the man who sat at the gate and shared the love of Jesus with him.
And we celebrated a bitter sweet goodbye.
The next morning, our whole squad headed to Baños, Ecuador.
Baños is a cute city in the mountains.
Our hostel was surrounded by huge mountains, natural hot springs, waterfalls, and tourists.
The street we lived on had excursion spots, hole in the wall churro shops, little stores, and even restaurants with American food.
The purpose of being in Baños was to spend 5 days processing with leadership about the previous month.
So, our squad mentor, mobilizer, coaches, and alumni leaders all flew out to Ecuador and set up times with us to just sit and talk – about whatever the Lord laid on our hearts.
They asked us to really press into what the Lord wants us to share with them, and to make the most of our 30 minutes with each one.
I did.
As I prayed and asked the Lord, He gave me specific conversations to have with each leader.
Every 30-minute meeting was just dripping with wisdom and grace.
Their words of honey sweetly covered my heart and pushed me closer to the character of God.
As I began to process and pray through the meetings and what the Lord specifically wanted me to take from each one, I realized something—
I was so caught up on the ways I didn’t reflect the character of God, I had stopped focusing on His characteristics and was only thinking about me.
Don’t get me wrong, I think the Lord was intentionally showing me things about the way I operate that don’t bring Him glory.
But I want my reaction to this to simply be to sit in His presence and allow Him to refine me.
I was spending every second of my time journaling telling the Lord that I was “too _____” or “not enough ______” or that I “need more ____” or “wish I was less ____”.
I was looking my Creator in the eyes and telling Him that who He made, who He calls perfect, wasn’t sufficient.
During one of my one-on-one’s, my mentor said, “yeah, self-awareness can become an idol.”
That was me.
I was so aware of the ways I wasn’t reflecting God, I had stopped focusing just on how good He is.
Because y’all, He is so good.
My mentor and one of my coaches challenged me to fast from journaling this month.
I wasn’t super stoked about this at first, but MAN it has opened doors for me to just sit with Jesus.
I was spending so much time telling Him things that I wasn’t giving Him space to talk to me!!
He has so much to say!!!
I no longer have a journal of “I’m not enough ____” or “I’m too _______”.
Instead, I have a journal where I write all the truths that He declares over me. I listen to what He wants to speak into my soul that is thirsty for the Living Water, and I write them down.
When I re-read my journal (which I do often), it’s page after page of TRUTH.
“You are loved. You are chosen. You are exactly how I designed you to be. You radiate joy. You bring a presence to a room that screams the Holy Spirit. You walk in obedience. I am revealing a life of freedom to you.”
These are the things my Father speaks over me.
I will continue to sit in this and avoid sitting in my own emotions, because they are fickle, and the character of God is not.
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Y’all, Ecuador is amazing.
We are staying with the ever-so-loved World Race hosts, Mabe and Fabi.
I imagine there have been hundreds of posts about how wonderful they are, so I’ll just leave it at this – Fabi and Mabe encourage us to steward everything the Lord gifts us with well. Food, time, relationships, His grace, a blog platform, etc.
I know that my time in this home will change my perspective on many things – including the last bite of food left on my plate that the Lord has blessed me with.
As Fabi says, “are you going to waste a blessing from the Lord?”
We are working with Camp Hope, a ministry that houses and teaches individuals with severe disabilities. I am going to leave a huge piece of my heart in this place.
This place is full of kisses, hand holding, smiles, and short sweet Spanish phrases.
I work in classes, the kitchen, cleaning, etc., simply serving the staff at this incredible place. I couldn’t be more thankful for my time here.
I love and miss you people so much.
Can’t wait to hug you so soon.
All my love,
Hannah Beth
