I woke up today and my heart was not in a good place.
Currently, our squad is doing the Camino De Santiago. It’s a journey/pilgrimage across Spain, and our team is doing the French Way. Which means we walk between 12-18 miles a day, and we carry everything we have on our back. I woke up in a funk, feeling physical/emotional/spiritual tension, angry at myself, aching to be home, hurting that this journey is almost over. I decided to go sit in the kitchen and spend time with the Lord. The power went out, so I sat with my flashlight, my Bible, and my journal, and just talked with God. I told him what was on my heart and he just sat with me, like he always does.
We started walking shortly after 8, and my heart was still hurting. I walked with Maddie (chicken), and as she always does, she just poured out grace and invited me to do whatever I needed to do to process. We walked silently for a bit, verbally processed, and even stopped once just to cry. Maddie and I talked about the idea of “what is mine?” She dropped some wisdom (again, as she always does) and invited me to remember that nothing is mine. The hands God gave me to work with are His. The money I make is a fruit of my labor only because he blessed me with hands; therefore, it is His. The people I care deeply about are His. The things I do and experience are because of Him. Nothing is mine, so why am I holding on so tightly?
We also talked about tension. About this battle between flesh and blood and how I can literally feel the tension and the pressure and the pain inside. I can feel my mind and body pulling me one direction and my heart and soul sweetly speaking truth and pointing me elsewhere. Gosh, it’s painful. Galatians 5:15-26 is a Bible passage Maddie gave me to chew on.
“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” Galatians? ?5:16-26? ?ESV??
Amen and amen! We were walking at a good pace, headed toward Hontanas, another city along the Camino. We arrived in the cute little town and just were looking around in awe. Fun fact: we are on a VERY tight budget, so we were looking for an albergue (hostel) to stay in that was 5 euros or so. A sweet woman carrying a tray and some trash came walking literally across our path, and we briefly talked with her about prices. Maddie realized she was Irish, and started asking her about her heritage. Our new friend’s name is Emma. We sat with her and began asking about her hostel, her restaurant, and her life. This woman. Y’all. She began just pouring out wisdom and blessings and kindness and truth. She was talking about the “visions” and dreams that the Lord has given her — visions and dreams that speak to EXACTLY what Maddie and I talked about all day. Tension. Growth. What is mine? What is your purpose in this Lord? I was tearing up, unable to explain how big of a blessing she was to us, and she was exclaiming how big of a blessing we were.
We sat with Emma for close to 2 hours, sharing truths, kind words of encouragement, and smiling at one another just kind of in awe that this was happening. Maddie asked Emma pretty early on, “do you have a relationship with God?” And she responded, “I don’t really know.” But it became clearer and clearer that Emma is a woman of peace. She rests in the arms of the Father. God the Father, Jesus the Son, and Holy Spirit have been chasing hard after this woman, not settling for anything less than all of her heart. How. Beautiful. Emma told us we were her angels, and she was inspired by us. Maddie and I chuckled and responded with “Emma, you inspire us.”
Megan and AbbyLin eventually joined us, and Maddie and I really felt like we wanted to bless Emma by giving her business and staying in her building. We shared this with her, and explained a little bit about our budget, and asked how we could bless her with what we have. Emma immediately said “let me think about this…” (in her cute accent), and decided to let us stay for UNDER budget, and included breakfast and dinner for a little extra. I looked at Meg, whose eyes were welled with tears. Emma blessed us more than she knew.
We headed over to the rooms, about fell over dead when we saw how nice they were, and decided to rest a bit. We went back to see Emma before she headed home, and she invited us to sit in the Comedor for a cup of tea and to chat. We helped her a little bit with some small tasks, and listened to her stories of how God has been chasing after her so dang intentionally. Maddie and I exchanged looks of “I can hardly believe this” every few seconds, and just sat in awe of the Lord. Emma, Maddie, and I cooked, shared stories, ate Hungarian desserts, talked about the Lord, prayed, cried, encouraged one another, and ultimately saw the glory of the Lord in the way the Lord connected our hearts today.
Had we not chosen to be interruptible in the moment we were searching for a “budget friendly” albergue, we wouldn’t have met Emma. We wouldn’t have experienced today, a day that changed my heart, changed my perspective on divine appointments, and pushed me so much closer to the Lord. My mom always wanted to name one of her daughters Emma, and I believe the Lord didn’t let her, because God knew I’d gain a sister named Emma in Spain on this day.
God said to me, “this is what I have for you on the Camino.” So, I’ll be looking for more moments of interruptibility. I want to know the divinity of the Lord in men and women like Emma every single day.
All my love,
HB
