Hey Momma,
I’m sitting in a cute coffee shop in Yerevan, Armenia and you’re on my mind.
I’m thinking about your living room, and how on Sundays, there’s football on the tv, a candle burning, and a blanket wrapped around whichever daughter is napping.
I’m thinking about how selfless you are, how often I find you laying down your own desire to serve one of your kids, a friend, or a coworker.
I’m thinking about your Thanksgiving meal, the delicious mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and sweet potato casserole.
I’m thinking about the reunion we had in India during Parent Vision Trip, when we just collapsed into each other’s arms, crying.
I’m thinking about the last hug we shared, standing in the driveway of the convention center in India, tears streaming down our faces as we said our goodbyes.
I’m also thinking about the fact that in 10 days, I will be hugging your sweet face again!! I’ll get an eye kiss and I’ll get to lay my head on your shoulder as we both probably cry.
I wanted to share, openly, my heart for you and how special/difficult this day is.
I want these words to seep deep into your soul, but also, I want others to know how important, special, and kick-ass you are as a single mother of 6.
If there is a mother that deserves recognition and love on this day (and every day) it’s you.
You’ve laid down your life for the 6 of your kids, and it has been humbling. I’m so thankful.
First, I’m sorry.
There were times that I was told, “one day, you’ll apologize to your mom, when you look back on your childhood/teenage years.”
I didn’t really believe it, but here we are.
I’m really sorry for all the times I smarted off, assuming that I knew best. I didn’t.
I’m sorry for the times I chose not to just sit with you and talk, as I’m sitting here craving that now.
I wouldn’t change anything, because it brought us to this, but I want you to know that you deserve so much more love than I could ever give.
I wish I could just have thirty minutes with you, in the hot tub on the back porch, sipping a glass of wine and talking about all the things I didn’t know before.
If I could re-do the previous years, I’d spend a hell of a lot more time just vocalizing and acting on my gratitude for you as a mom, as a friend, and as a provider.
You’ve taught me so much through the years.
You’ve showed me how to manage motherhood and full-time work, with grace.
You’ve taught me the importance of independence, coupled with the necessity for people.
I’ve learned, from you, how to communicate efficiently and in love.
You’ve taught me how to see myself in the eyes of the Father and to appreciate who he created in me.
You’ve taught me how to take care of myself, and how important it is to be in touch with ourselves.
You’ve taught me how to give tons and tons and tons of grace. (thank you).
You’ve showed me firsthand how to prioritize the mental/emotional/physical health of your children, regardless of what needs to be laid to the side.
Gosh, this barely scratches the surface.
Momma, the Lord has been walking me through seasons on the race.
He promised me before I left that he would teach me how to be a friend, mother, and wife.
The first season (months 1-4) was how to be a friend.
He walked me through seeing my worth, believing I am worthy of friendship, and letting others pursue me.
He showed me the necessity for healthy communication and gave me women to walk through life with that all communicated in different ways, all of which showed love.
I reflected back on the gift of having 4 sisters, and how they will always be my friend.
Praise, hallelujah, that we got past the years of arguing over clothes.
Then, He walked me into the season of learning to be a mother.
Not by coincidence, He provided me the opportunity to SEE YOU during this time!!! EEEE.
He showed me what it means to sacrificially love.
He showed me how much you have laid down in your years of motherhood, but specifically in your years of being a single mom.
He walked me through some of my childhood wounds and taught me how to speak life into them.
He placed me in the position of team leader and broke down my tendency to place unspoken expectations on myself when I am placed in a ‘role’.
He broke down my perfectionistic ways and gave me so much more grace than I ever deserve.
He showed me that motherhood isn’t about getting it right, it’s about having the heart to say, “I did this wrong, and I’m so sorry, and I need forgiveness.” & to be able to give myself grace when I do get it wrong. (still working on this one).
I know that going into the next season of the race, He is going to teach me about being a wife.
I’m sure He is preparing my heart right now in ways I can’t see.
I know He is going to bring me back to my childhood again and show me ways that you served dad and our family as a wife.
He is going to show me ways you served the church.
I’m so thankful that I have a mom who is all of these things – a friend, a mother, and a wife.
Not necessarily a wife to a man, but as the bride of Christ.
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
You are excellent, momma. You are far more precious than jewels. You deserve all the recognition today, and for the days to come.
I love you so much.
I can’t wait to hug you.
I can’t wait to wedding plan with you.
I can’t wait to just sit with you — in the hurt and the celebration and the laughter and the tears.
I want moments like that with you.
I’ll see you soon.
I love you so deep + wide.
You’ve made a way for me to be a mother, friend, and wife. Thank you.
All my love,
HB
