I have struggled to put to words everything that has happened this past month. I am now in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia at Debrief. It’s a time to process and prepare our hearts and minds concerning the last month and the months ahead. There is just so much to process from this past month that it’s almost impossible to describe it. There has been so much growth, so much resilience, so many revelations…and yet I can’t seem to find the words.
I never thought I would experience such writers’ block about my time, but I have. I think some of it is from trying to express ‘all the things’ (i.e. religious, language and cultural differences, personal spiritual growth, experiences of hardship – a world and life entirely different from America and all that I have known). I think some of the writers’ block stems from what people might think. But you know what I’ve realized? I’ve realized I cannot control how people react, or what they feel – but what I can do is tell my story.
So here it goes. I’ve tried to develop a few major themes from this past month. For now, I will start with what my life has looked like through the lease of scripture.
Sometimes when we don’t have the words to say, the best place to start is with His Holy Word.
Living out of Acts
This past month I have truly seen what it means to live out of Acts. We have exemplified living in The Fellowship of the Believers (Acts 2:42-47):
“And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.”
- We devoted ourselves to reading the Word every day through personal devotionals and group discovery bible studies.
- We ate together at the local Warungs, our village neighbors’ homes, and treated ourselves to McDonald’s on a few occasions. I never thought I’d say, “McDonald’s – I’m Loving it!” with such sincerity and enthusiasm – but when you live in a tent, have no AC or access to a normal toilet…the slogan becomes all too sincere.
- We prayed together – constantly. Not only that, we prayed for pretty much everyone we met. And maybe that sounds crazy, but you would not believe the response. Complete strangers cried. Non-believers thanked us. People heard the name of Jesus for the first time.
“And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles.”
- This past month I couldn’t help but be in awe and wonder of the beauty that God has created here on Earth. Bali is beautiful. We might not have been living in the most desirable conditions, but I couldn’t stop saying, “WOW, WOW, WOW!”
- From the amazing sunsets to the lush rice fields, God was planting seeds of His delight in my soul. It seemed that everything I prayed for this past month actually came true – even the time I prayed for Ritz Crackers and real Skippy peanut butter (true treasures and delicacies while living in the village). Or the time we were chasing the sunrise on the Chinese New Year but we were stuck in traffic. I prayed that God would stall the sunrise so we could get to the beach in time to greet it. And you know what? He made it happen. There was a thin layer of clouds in the horizon that made the sun work a little harder and a little longer to peak out and break the dusk so that we could “…awake the dawn (Psalms 108:2).” It might sound small and insignificant – but those were prayers answered and miracles made.
“And all who believed were together and had all things in common.”
- We shared everything: our space, our phones, our clothes, our food, our money, our taxis, our worship.
- What was interesting is that we learned so much about living in community from the villagers we were living with. They actually all lived in a common tribe, sharing everything with one another. They had meetings to pull their money together for ceremonies, cremation celebrations and fun events. When little kids came to our daily after school program, they all chipped in to buy some of us ice cream. When we walked around the village, families invited us into their homes and would feed our entire group at times. They blessed us with extreme generosity, and yet they had so little.
- From the villagers’ example, we have seen what it means to live in true community. Not only have we seen it, but we have experienced it first hand and have applied this way of living to our team dynamics.
“And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.”
- We have sold and given away so many of our belongings just to come on the race. We are all now living out of 70 liter hiking backpacks with very little room for extra stuff. This past month, so many of us have already “dropped” clothing and items that are weighing us down. It’s funny. We have so little with us, and yet we’ve realized that we have more than enough. Because we are living out of an abundance mentality, we can give freely let go.
- This past month, I lost my absolute favorite black dress. It was the one single item of clothing I brought with me on the race that was truly special to me. It was the black boho dress I wore to my brothers’ rehearsal dinner. It was going to be my Sunday church dress. I only it wore it once and took it to the laundromat where it was lost and gone forever. My initial reaction was to be upset. However, I started to think about the delight of another woman finding my favorite dress in her clean laundry – and that image made me smile. Somewhere in Bali, there is a woman wearing a black dress that once brought me so much joy. I hope it brings her just as much.
“And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts,”
- Living in the village, we witnessed how often the tribe members went to the temple – and it was A LOT. Bali is actually the land of 1,000 temples. We were surrounded by temples at the community center – and there was even a small temple on the premises where we lived. What I admired from the villagers is their extreme devotion. There was a call to prayer 3 times each day, starting as early as 5:45 am (which often woke us all up every morning). Although their devotion seems more fear, works and luck based, it was convicting to see such discipline in the way they worship. They dedicate their whole lives, all of their extra finances and their time to their faith.
- This past month has taught me to not worry so much. I have never had to worry about where I’m going to eat or how I’m going to have to pay for it. However, while living on a food budget of $5 per day in a remote village with an outdoor kitchen with only a propane tank for boiling water, I have now experienced what it is like to wonder, “What – and How – am I going to eat today?” But God always provided.
- There were times my team and I were going on a walk, trying to find some place that might be open, despite the fact that the entire village was shut down due to ceremonies (which was a regular occurrence). By the grace of God, a family would simply invite us into their home and provide a free meal for us. I can’t even tell you how blessed I felt in those moments…How I truly saw God show up through the generosity of complete strangers who later became friends…who later became like family.
“praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.”
- In those moments—when we were invited into people’s homes and given meals with such generosity—we were not the only ones being fed. We would talk about life and love and Jesus. We would pray over our meals, pray for our new friends—and in those moments, we shared the Bread of Life. We shared the Good News – and that is Living Water that lasts forever.
This only scratches the surface of what I experienced in Bali, Indonesia. It’s incredible to think how much life I’ve lived in just the last 3 weeks. I could write a book on all the lessons learned over this past month alone – but for now, this will do.
His Word is More Than Enough.
Sending you much love from Malaysia,
Hannah
