When I was a little girl, about 4 years of age, I had short brown hair. And bangs. Straight across my face. And a pair of overall shorts that I loved to wear. One particular summer day, I was playing outside with a couple neighbor friends. One of them pointed at my feet and released a belly full of giggles, saying “Your shoes are on the wrong feet!” The older girl defended me by replying to her brother “She didn’t know that; she is only a little girl”. And in fact, I did not notice nor feel that my shoes were on the wrong feet.
17 years later…January of 2020, this memory came to revisit me. I am no longer a little girl. I do not have bangs nor overalls. However, this time I recognized the feeling. The feeling of having my shoes on the wrong feet. It felt like I was walking around each day with my left shoe on my right foot and vice versa. It’s a subtle feeling. Every step I took felt off in my spirit. I would sleep at night and it felt like there was a pea under my bed. I didn’t even know what was causing it. Something was off, and I didn’t know how to correct it.
I brought it to the feet of Jesus, asking Him what was going on. Was I headed in the wrong path? Did I miss His leading? Weeks of prayer and processing took place. I grew comfortable in the waiting, the uncertainty. I trusted that Lord Jesus would speak and communicate next steps when it was due time and when I was ready to receive.
A couple of months later, late February early March, I grew more eager to settle this restlessness in my spirit. I had a dream, but I also have lots of dreams. Almost every night. But this particular dream caught my attention. And again I brought it to the feet of Lord Jesus.
In my dream I was at Kidz Depot, a drop off child care center I’ve worked at since high school. One of my coworkers asked me to grab them a diaper. I responded and said I couldn’t because I was leaving. And I woke up.
And when I woke up, I sat upright in my bed. A big messy bun on my head and alert eyes. Knowing deep in my soul that it was not a simple dream. And at 3:00am I began to talk to God about this dream in my bedroom. And I wasn’t sure what leaving meant. I sensed it might be mission related, but opened my hands to whatever He was communicating. It could have meant leaving the state, leaving my city, etc. Or it could have just been another random dream with no meaning attached.
However, I had that same dream two more nights that week (which has never ever happened in all of my life). On the third night, there was a “second scene” to the dream. A part 2, if you will.
It began the same way. I said I was leaving when I was asked to grab a diaper. However, my best childhood friend Sarah arrived on the scene. She said with a smile “Are you excited to leave in October for training camp in Georgia?” And I jolted awake again. Hair in my face and alert of what God just communicated to me, I jumped out of bed and frightened my two dogs sleeping on my floor.
I reached for my laptop and plopped back on my bed. Time of the night about 4:00 am. And for the record, I am a deep sleeper. The amount of alarms I have to set in the morning is ridiculous, so the concept that I woke up in the middle of the night wide awake is a pure testament that God Almighty himself woke me up.
I was putting the pieces together. I had been looking through several mission organizations the past couple months attempting to find the answer of the restlessness in my soul, and I felt sure of what God just communicated to me. I opened the browser with the World Race already pulled up. Their headquarters is located in Georgia. AND they have one trip leaving in October, with their training camp (two weeks of missions prep) taking place in October.
I told Jesus that I would apply, and that if this is what He is leading me towards, then to get accepted. And if this was NOT what He was leading me towards, then for me to not get accepted. Quite simple.
One day after I applied, I had my interview; it went well. I was accepted during my interview (!!!) and now I’m dancing with God through this open door.
It feels nice to have my shoes on the right feet.
