Hello from Costa Rica!
We are currently working with Zoe Futute Leaders doing all sorts of things! I can’t wait to tell you about it in my next blog! But first, I want to let you in on the cool things that happened when my mom came to Nicaragua for 5 days to do ministry alongside me and my squad mates!
When I first learned about the Parent Vision Trip, I was scared. An entire week of my mom watching me in action in ministry? That really freaked me out. I’m not sure why…
Actually, I do.
Somewhere along the way, I started to get really nervous when my mom was watching over my shoulder.
When all eyes are on me.
Not because of anything she did. My mom supported me through the good, the bad, and the downright UGLY.
But I believed this lie that she would be judging me. More specifically, I believed this lie that she was a better Christian than me.
My mom did an amazing job at shepherding me in my faith. But my faith was kind of like when you say “I’m republican or Democrat because my parents are republican or Democrat”. I hadn’t really found out who Jesus really was without my mom by my side.
If I’m being honest, a huge part of the need to go on the World Race was really digging into who Jesus was to me.
And now I can tell you.
He’s my Comforter, Savior, my Father, and my very best friend.
All of which I knew before the world race, but now they are heart knowledge…not just head knowledge.
As I said, I believed that the things my mom had made heart knowledge a long time ago meant that she was a better Christian than me.
But you know what is really good news?
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING A GOOD ENOUGH CHRISTIAN.
Have you repented of the things you’ve done wrong (romans 3:23)? Do you believe he freely pours out His love and grace on you ( romans 6:23)? Do you believe that Christ died for you, even when you weren’t living for him (romans 5:8)? Do you believe Jesus is your savior (romans 10: 9-10)? Do you believe that if you just call on him, he will save you (romans 10:13)?
Then you are more than good enough.
Before I move on, I just want to point out the importance of Romans 5:8 for those who maybe don’t believe these things:
“But God shows His love for us in that, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Even before you choose Him, he chooses you.
Anyways, my mom had graciously given me total control over whether or not I invited her to PVT or not.
In the end, I knew I would regret it if I didn’t invite her. As much as I just missed my mom, I also wanted her to get a glimpse of what I’ve experienced on the world race too.
It wasn’t about me. Needless to say, I invited her.
Thanks, Jesus, for courage.
Before PVT, my squad mates and I spent a lot of time in prayer and discussing the things we wanted to lay down or the lies we wanted to cast out. I was vulnerable and told my squadmates about the lie of not feeling good enough. We cast it out and I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.
When my mom stepped off the bus, we ran into each other’s arms and bawled our faces off. We had the rest of the day to just hang out and catch up.
I am so thankful for my squad. PVT was pretty much our show. We were in charge. Each night, we had worship and a word that was usually given by us. One night during worship, my teammate, Jeorgi, talked about how we had the power to cast out things in our lives that were burdening us. She talked about how when we cast out things, that doesn’t mean it won’t come back. But it does mean that we have all the power in the world to cast it away, again.
The thing I felt I needed to cast away was fear. Fear is a reality for a lot of people. Just because I casted it away, doesn’t mean it won’t come back. But fear is NOT of the Lord.
“The Lord has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-discipline”. 2 Timothy 1:7
So I have all the authority and power I need to say “Fear! You have no hold on me! You have no authority! Leave! Thanks, Jesus for making me bold!”
Over the next few days, I began to feel a overwhelming peace come over me and a abundant amount of courage. The next day, we had a night of healing. My mom was having issues with her ankles, and without thinking I went and prayed for her.
Thanks Jesus for healing! The issues immediately began to recede.
But thanks Jesus ALSO for giving me courage that could only come from you and ridding me of the fear that I would be judged by my mom so that I could do something I never would have done in the past.
The next night, we were supposed to give each other blessings. When it was my turn, it wasn’t even a question that I would pray over her life. It felt like the most normal thing in the world.
I think the greatest thing that came out of this wasn’t necessarily that Jesus freed me from fear and anxiety. Those things are great but they are also already promised to me. I think the coolest thing that happened this week was that we went from just being mother and daughter to being sisters in Christ. In the Bible it says that mother will turn against daughter and daughter against mother (Luke 12:53). Unity between family is not promised. So instead, my mom and I can stand hand in hand worshipping our Father in Heaven together. We can pray for each other. We can bring healing to each other. And we can love each other because Christ loved us first.
Happy Mother’s Day, Momma! I love you!
