Hey everyone, welcome back to the blog!! It’s been quite a while, I know. As I’m sure you’ve all heard, I was pulled off of the field back in March due to covid. It was very unexpected and things happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to update you with a blog, and once I finally got home I found it too difficult to try to find the words. Each time I tried to write I caught myself choking back tears and becoming frustrated. I wish I could say that I handled leaving the race with an optimistic attitude, but to be completely blunt with you, I did almost the exact opposite. I was sad, confused, hopeless, angry. Angry at God, angry at the world, and angry at my family and friends for not being able to fully understand what I was going through. I couldn’t wrap my head around why God would call me to a whole year of missions, provide $19,000+, and spend a year preparing me only to rip it all away from me halfway through. It may sound dramatic to you, but it was quite honestly one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. But if there’s anything positive that has come out of the situation, it’s the lessons that I learned along the way. If you’ve gotta go through it, might as well grow through it, right?
First of all, God cannot “rip away” from me something that is not mine. The World Race was never about me, and it wasn’t even my own decision to go. It was God who put the desire in my heart and called me to serve. Missions was God’s will for me during that season of my life, but it was never mine to have – so who am I to be angry at God for “taking away” something that I never had possession of in the first place? Second, I’ve learned that even though I make my own plans, they are irrelevant unless they are in line with God’s plans. No matter how badly I wanted to, it was not in God’s plans for me to go to Asia and Europe and finish the race; it was solely in my own plans. And His plans always prevail. No matter how angry or frustrated or confused that it might make me, it does not change how good He and His plans are. No matter how much I get mad at Him or ignore Him, He doesn’t stop chasing after me and loving me. He’s constantly overflowing with grace. Which is the exact reason I’m here now, on my redemption race.
Now that I think about it, some of you might not even know where “here” is. I was originally supposed to relaunch to Eswatini, but the country ended up closing its borders on the week of our departure due to a spike in covid cases. So, we ended up in Jeffrey’s Bay, South Africa for now. We arrived here 1 week ago, and man, we just jumped right in. For ministry this month we’re partnering with Global Leadership Academy/Global Challenge which is both a school and a discipleship program. Global Challenge is similar to the World Race and they also send out missionaries to the nations! We spent our first week here at camp Brakkeduine with a group consisting of teacher interns, long term missionaries, and the Global Challenge team.
We were intentionally discipled by some of the wisest leaders I’ve ever met and spent all week participating in team challenges, team bonding, fun in the lake, cooking over the fire, and a whole lotta worship. I never knew I could feel so exhausted yet rejuvenated at the same time. We started this week as a group of new friends and ended it as a family. I cannot wait to see what the Lord is going to do through us all this month – stay tuned! I’ll be sure to update you whenever I can 🙂
All my love,
Hannah
