“It is not your responsibility to change the world. You will point the people of the world to me and I will transform them.” – A quote from my journal.
Last month we were in Marrakech, Morocco, and God laid so much on my heart. He developed me and refined me in a way that taught me how to love better. The country is so beautiful. The people, THE FOOD, the culture of hospitality, the beautiful scenery, the tea! It was all so incredible. We made so many amazing connections, had the most unreal conversations with locals, experienced things like touring palaces, walking through gardens with plants from all over the world that grow in the same area, riding a camel in the desert, and surviving wild nights walking through the Medina. As my teammates read this they are probably thinking, “Okay, now tell them the real story.”
My month in Morocco started out pretty tough. During the first couple of weeks I had a lot of culture shock. I had recently stepped into a leadership role on my team just a couple of weeks before arriving in Morocco. We lived in like the loudest part of the city for a week, until we moved in with a lady we called our “Moroccan host mom” and her two little sons. Ministry started off looking like a lot of moving parts that I was so unsure of how to get to fit together. I immediately took all of the weight of sorting through all of these things on my shoulders. In the past, I have really struggled to ask for help. Even the simplest tasks I want to do all by myself. (Oh hey pride.) My team was so incredible about calling me on this and letting me know real quick that I needed to let others into things I straight up cannot do on my own. To add to all of this, the last bit of summer was happening right as we were settling in. Temps got up to 108 for three days straight.
I was so overwhelmed. I felt like I could not even sort through any emotion I had before the next problem needed to be solved. I cried. A lot. I am not ashamed to say that I called my parents crying. Thinking that I may get some sympathy, my dad hit me with some tough love. “That’s life, Hannah Rachel.” Well, that’s not what I wanted to hear. It would take me a few days of pouting before I’d settle down and realize that he was right. Life doesn’t wait for you to be prepared for the next challenge before throwing it at you. I felt lost. I felt my confidence shaking. Honestly, I was pretty peeved with God. “Why do you have me here? What is my purpose and place in all of this chaos? What is wrong with me?” These were some of the questions I asked God while I was pouting.
I’m going to share with you what I wrote down in my journal as I was praying. Here’s what I felt like the Lord was asking me:
“You have a choice to make. Am I enough? You’re looking at your life incorrectly. You need to surrender your [why] to me and let me show you the [what]”
Of course Jesus is enough! But truthfully, I wasn’t thinking or acting like He was my everything in my daily life. I was so caught up in myself and all of my tasks that I lost sight of what drives me: God’s love.
After I was able to take a few days to check myself, rest, and get some of my heavenly perspective back, I decided to turn a corner. I brought my teammates into what I was wrestling with and man, did we rally. As a team, we got organized, challenged each other, prayed for the place we were living, and began sharing more of what God was laying on each of our hearts. I decided that no matter what mood I was in, I was going to be intentional. As soon as I chose into the people around me, I became so aware of what God was doing in our city. I became motivated. Never underestimate the fresh wind that the Holy Spirit will put in your sails. As soon as you’re willing, the wind will blow.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 (NIV)
I could tell so many stories of God’s goodness that I was able to experience in the last couple of weeks in Morocco. The revelations, the interactions, the growth, and the grace that I saw in my team and anyone that partnered with us can only be defined as a work of the Holy Spirit. God gets all the glory.
I learned that my focus must always be on Jesus if I want to make an impact on the world. I am not here to fulfill my own purpose. I am living and breathing because God created me and He has a purpose for me. It’s that simple. I am not here to change the world. I am here to guide people to the One who is constantly transforming me: Jesus.
“People with their minds set on you, you keep completely whole, steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don’t quit. Depend on God and keep at it because in the Lord God you have a sure thing.”
Isaiah 26:3-4 (MSG)
