Hi all. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted. It’s because I actually have a lot going on inside my head. I have a little over 2 months left of this race and everything about it has been the best experience of my life.
I’ve met some really really amazing people. I’ve met my best friends for life. I’ve met people all over the world with beautiful hearts and some people I will keep in touch with forever. I’ve encountered the Lord in so many ways I cannot even fathom. I’ve learned more about myself and about who Christ has created me to be. I can honestly say that I’ve reached full freedom in my life. I am exactly where God needs me to be and I love Him so much for pushing me to go on this trip.
But the reality is, this trip is going to end. The reality is, I’m going to have to go home, wherever that is. I’m going to have to leave the people I love the most. And I’m actually kind of scared. My life for the past year has been constant traveling to new places and new people and doing it with the people I love. If I could, I would do it forever. I’m scared to go home. I’m scared to settle down in a job that I don’t like. I’m scared to live in a place that isn’t my home. I’m scared to encounter my old world with my new self.
I’m a new person, but everything back home is the same. But I have to trust Jesus, because He is actually the only thing in my life that’s constant. My friends from the race will be gone, I won’t have a bedroom to go home to that is mine, I won’t have a job or a car, and my family won’t be all in the same house, but my Father is always the same. He won’t ever change.
So I’m sitting here thinking about how much I love Jesus. He put me here because He knew I how much I would love it. But if I’m being honest, I’m just really scared to go home. And I’m actually really sad to be going home a couple of months.
I’m sorry I haven’t posted, I am okay, and I love all of you. Thank you for always being supportive. If you could pray for me as I begin to process going home that would be great. I still have no clue what I want to do or where I want to go. I have no car (if you know anyone that is selling one that would be amazing)! I appreciate you all.
update: I am in Panama living on the beach! We are working with indigenous groups! I work with the teens and we also work with deaf children! This upcoming week we have a youth camp for a couple days:) I’m really excited!
