I had written a blog, ready to post it, and it Disappeared. As best as I can guess, it wasn’t meant to be Posted. maybe this one will make it.
We leave Colombia this coming weekend. The country is beautiful and full of life. I’ll miss the people the most, the loving people. The ones that make you feel like you’ve always belonged there.
God has been busy with us this month. each one of my teammates has been pushed and stretched in different ways. As for myself, I find it hard to describe. Community is where I have struggled the most this month.
I come from a big family, you would think that community would be easy for me right? not quite, I have begun to understand I’ve been missing some really important pieces. I love community but I’ve never known one that gives everyone a chance to speak, one that is unconditional in loving, and one that has ways to communiate in a healthy manner. Growing up I moved around a lot, that includes churches. I never really felt unconditional love from a church community. I never knew how terrible of a thing that was. Until this trip. God has been pushing me to expect more. That honestly is my wish for myself and my team. To get to the point that it’s natural for us to spend time with each other with that atmosphere. One filled with only understanding for each other and the willingness to listen to the heart behind the person. This is what God has placed on my heart. A hunger for something more. I never expect anything from people and that way I would never be disappointed by them. I was scared to have expectations with people because people fail. People can’t always do what is expected of them. I selfishly didn’t want to get hurt.
I have out grown this fear. I want to encourage that kind of community everywhere I go. To whom ever I meet. If I have been to so many churches and never felt unconditional love from them, what are the chances people from all over the world haven’t either? I want to be part of changing that. I want to be held accountable to higher standards. I want to be better, not just for myself but for those around me. I want them to see something different in me because of how God showed me to treat and love them.
