Sorry mom, I am talking about sex on the internet…
Truth be told, this has been on my heart for half a year. I was resisting obedience to the Lord’s call becasue it’s a bit awkward, bold and I feared the judgement from others. But this morning God told me that’s exactly why He wants me to talk about it! So here goes nothing!!!
I have been so enlightened on this topic over the last year. Growing up in the Catholic church I wasn’t told much about sex, except to not do it until I was married. Like most people, I struggle with rules that aren’t paired with an explanation that makes sense to me. Society, especially in millennial culture, scream quite the opposite from this rule. In the music we listen to, movies we watch, and places we hang out, sex is so taboo. I didn’t believe it till I took a step back and realized it was everywhere. I mean the Notebook, Gossip Girl, Buzzfeed, Cosmo on Snapchat, when I turned on my discover weekly playlist on Spotify, everyone was talking about sex! Until very recently I spent my time consumed in these medians wayyy more than anything that spoke the truth from the Father. So it was only fitting that I had a very worldly depiction of what sex was and when it was socially acceptable.
A year ago I went to a purity talk at a conference by accident. But this hour long presentation changed my complete perspective on how I wanted to value my body, my future husband and the Lord who created me.
The truth is the Lord doesn’t call us to refrain from practicing physical intimacy because He wants to deprive us from something that will bring us exceptional happiness, but instead to protect us. Regardless of how many songs I’ve heard about how ‘sleeping around’ can be easy and freeing, the reality is it will not bring about complete fulfillment. That connection is designed to be between only one other person, because you are literally joining flesh. That kind of vulnerability is not meant to be shared with many. Because if that person leaves the next morning, or the next year, then one is left with a broken heaviness, and a piece of their heart.
I have read a lot of pieces that explain how it is empowering for a woman to preform sexually in any way she desires. However, I have found that refraining from doing so has been even more so. By respecting and loving my body, I feel so fulfilled in knowing that I am saving it for the one who will be with me forever. I am also giving thanks and praise to my creator, by protecting the beautiful pieces of who I am.
I wish I could say that I never made a mistake and broke this declaration from God. I haven’t always had the confidence or the correct head knowledge to commit to a life for Christ. And in the brokenness I carried privately, the Lord has taught me so much and brought about beautiful reconciliation. I felt led to get a purity ring at training camp in August. I haven’t taken it off since. And surprisingly enough, I have had several people comment on it, usually asking if it is a wedding band. The Lord then opened the doors for a conversation where I could proudly say what it stood for.
The deeper I go with the Lord, the more He reveals how deeply He loves me, and that feeling brings about the most fulfillment and love I’ve ever felt. Someday I will get married, and I’ll trade out my ring, but this story is something that I don’t think He’ll ever silence.
