Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, which I annually proclaim is one of my favorite days of the year. This one was extra special because it also fell on Ash Wednesday, meaning that I had an easy answer to anyone who asked who my Valentine was… JESUS, DUHH (peep the ashes on my forehead)!!
Unfortunately the day did not live up to my anticipation and I ended the night pretty frustrated with some current circumstances. And on top of that, the tulips I bought that morning were already wilted. I wouldn’t say I fell asleep upset with the Lord, but definitely wondering where His presence was on that very Holy day, that was supposed to be filled with love.
Today I woke up to a text that my morning event was canceled. I had some quiet time in bed, which is a rare, but treasured gift. I opened up my email and realized I never watched the first video that Dynamic Catholic sent yesterday, as part of their Lent series. I was taken back by the powerful message that was spoken,
“You know, why do flowers bloom? They bloom because at some point it becomes too painful not to bloom. It becomes too painful to stay in the bud. And so they have to break forth, and, bloom. And, I think in all of our lives, we have that experience where we’re experiencing pain, we’re experiencing some real need, we’re experiencing some real hunger, some real yearning, some real desire, for something that is good, and beautiful, and right, and noble, and it, it’s time to break out of that bud.”
I sat up in bed and looked to the left at my sad tulips. They represented my state yesterday; not wanting to see God. They were lying there, like myself, feeling actual pain. I wasn’t willing to let the Lord into my internal wound; I had wanted to mourn. And while, I believe that every unfortunate situation in life is certified to be ‘felt’ through, there certainly is never a time where the Lord shouldn’t be welcome.
I opened up to Him for a bit and apologized for turning away yesterday. I felt an immediate calmness come over my heart. Once again He had graced my presence. I decided before throwing away the flowers I could give Google a call. A 3-minute YouTube video urged me to cut the stems. After doing so, I left for a run around Reeds Lake. I put on, Peace be Still, by the Belonging Co., (I mean who doesn’t consider this their go to Jesus jam), and totally enjoyed every step of that run. Also worth noting, that is the farthest I’ve been able to jog (4.2 miles!!) since I injured myself in October. When I returned home, I walked in my room and was amazed to see the tulips perked up. And if that doesn’t say J-E-S-U-S, then I don’t know what does!
It amazes me to think, even when I doubt Him, He always stays around to make His presence known. He is the best kind of friend; patient, understanding, loving and loyal. He wants our hearts. He wants to transform us. And if we continually invite Him in, then we just might bloom.
