Our first month in Thailand is already over! We’re at debrief for a week before we start the second half of the race and head to Myanmar!! Time has gone by so quickly. It’s so crazy to think I only have four and a half months left.
To be completely honest there’s days where hearing I have four months left makes me want to hold on so tightly to every moment because I never want this to end. But other days I want nothing more than to be on that last flight home and see my family in the airport. But on those days it’s when the lord has taught me the most.
The pace that I’m growing at I wouldn’t have at home if I chose to stay. I think that I would have learned these lessons eventually at home. But the lord put me on this race for a purpose. He has taught me way more than I could have ever asked for or expected. When I was preparing for the race and now being on the race it’s completely different but so much greater than I ever imagined. I pictured it being all incredible mountain top experiences filled with perfect community all day everyday.
But the truth is that it’s been hard. There are days in the valleys. There are days when my teammates are the last people I want to love on. Sure I have had those mountain top experiences and seen the lord move like never before, but it’s in the hard days where I see Jesus the most.
I see Jesus in the people he breaks my heart for on the side of the street who just want someone to stop and say hi. I see Jesus in my teammates, and yes even on the days where it seems really hard to love them. I see Jesus through them in every interaction. When we fight for each other, when we fight to choose Jesus rather than this world.
But most importantly I see Jesus in the most unexpected interactions. I see Jesus in the lady who makes my dumplings that might not even know she’s a part of the kingdom. And in the barista who greets us every morning with a big smile, who might not even always get it back. In the faces of the Thai people who don’t know their identity in the father yet. And wow what a privilege it is to love on them.
When we first arrived in Thailand, I wanted a different ministry. I wasn’t excited with where we were at first. It seemed as if we were doing nothing. But it was a season of rest the lord gave us. And now as I sit and truly reflect on the past month, he has taught me so so much.
I learned that the lord sustains me. He gives me my energy and strength every single day. Not even that cup of coffee I tell myself I need every morning. I feel physically drained and tired when I haven’t spent time with the lord and let him be the one who fills me up.
I learned what it means to be intentional with people. That relationships are worth pursuing. Even when you don’t even want to talk to that person. Love them. Every time. I’ve learned that giving the hard feedback and being vulnerable helps me and the other person to look more like jesus.
And I’ve learned that I can’t always get what I want. Sometimes that means not getting the ministry I hoped for. But it’s his plan and not mine. But the lord doesn’t ask me to do anything he hasn’t done already and won’t put me somewhere where he doesn’t have a purpose.
I think this month the lord was preparing us for what it might be like at home. We won’t always have ministry assigned every single day, we have wifi and don’t always have to talk to each other, and it’s not going to be all easy all the time. It’s not always what we want. But if we choose to not watch another movie and have a conversation with a friend over coffee instead or choosing not to sleep in and walking the streets to pray for freedom instead, that’s where the lord can move. It’s about being obedient to what he’s put right in front of me. And not giving up when it gets hard, when we’re tired, or even when being spiritually attacked.
So, ask the Lord what he wants you to do today. It only takes a few minutes. Ask him for his heart. You’ll see Jesus everywhere!!! Because he’s in everything. Even in your day to day lives and in the people you might not really like a whole lot. Talk to that person you see at work everyday but don’t really know. Buy that person their coffee and ask about their day. Take a friend out to lunch, and have real intentional conversation without your phone. Start a conversation with a stranger even if it seems awkward. Even if it’s not what you want to do. Do it and I promise Jesus will move.
