It’s been about three months now since I’ve committed to going on the World Race. And I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t scared and everything was going smoothly. Because I am nervous, terrified actually. Although I am fully confident that this is where the Lord has called me, it still scares me.
This year is bringing so many changes in my life all at once. I’m choosing to step so far out of my comfort zone than I ever have before. Saying yes to God to go on the World Race also means saying yes to leaving my comfortable life at home. Leaving the comfort of my home, my bed, a hot shower, my friends and family, missing almost a years worth of holidays and birthdays, and not seeing the people I care about most for 9 months. On top of that fundraising is uncomfortable, it is HARD to ask people for money, it’s a feeling that I’m still trying to get used to.
Leaving all of this and stepping out in faith into the complete unknown has been difficult. I expect it to be hard, I know it will be. But I want to be fully dependent on Jesus, and if that means giving up all of that and living out of a single backpack for almost a year, I will.
Besides being confident in that, I’m still left feeling a little uneasy. At times I’ve felt unqualified, that there were better people for this than me. There are people who are way more qualified for this kind of trip than I am. There will always be more experienced travelers, more experienced missionaries, better campers, people who may be stronger in their faith, and people who know the Bible way better than I do. But God keeps finding a way to remind me that this is where he wants me and he is greater than my fears, even in my doubts.
I was watching a video the other day of a speaker who was speaking on the topic of having a wholehearted mentality and what that meant. Doing something wholeheartedly means doing something with complete sincerity and commitment. In others words, being all in. This speaker went on to talk about the word wholehearted and how we must wholeheartedly commit to whatever it is the Lord has for us. Then she said something that completely blew my mind. She said, a synonym for the word wholehearted is, unqualified. WOW. I had never thought about it that way before. And in that moment I knew God was trying to speak to me about my doubts. God isn’t looking for specific qualifications in me. If he was, I wouldn’t be writing this blog right now. All he is asking is for us to say yes and to be all in and to completely devote ourselves to what he has called us to, even if that makes us a little uncomfortable and scared. And if we say yes, he will use that in amazing ways. And although I am completely unqualified for this and fearful at times, I am choosing to say yes to wholeheartedly pursuing this calling on my life.
I’d like to ask for your prayers for my team and I as we continue to prepare for this adventure! Thank you to all my supporters so far who have helped me financially and through prayer, it means more than you know! If you feel led to donate, any amount would be greatly appreciated and you can do so by clicking the orange donate button above!
