The race is officially over. We had our last day of ministry, we left Swaziland, and we’re on our way home. And I don’t know how to feel about it. So many emotions are happening all at the same time. I’m feeling the excitement of getting to see family and friends so so soon, but feeling the sadness of ending this season. It’s truly bittersweet, in a way I’ve never experienced.
Thinking about writing a blog about coming home has been hard. I don’t really have adequate words to describe all the Lord has done this year. And this one might be a little long because im trying to find the words to say. There’s been a lot of processing. But one thing that’s been constant these past nine months and one thing I know for sure, is that God is good and he is faithful. In all circumstances and in every place we went to, I’ve seen his goodness time and time again.
When I think about this season, I am just overwhelmed. Of course it wasn’t always easy, but the good always weighs out the hard. Leaving home was hard. But there’s not a day that I regret it. Because the things I gained this year will always be worth it. At launch I remember hearing, “sometimes we have to leave good things to gain even greater things”. That statement holds a lot of truth. And you know that passage in the Bible, “taste and see that the Lord is good?” I can say that this year, maybe for the first time I have truly experienced that.
I experienced it when we walked people through giving their lives to Jesus for the first time, when we saw a woman be healed and see again, when we saw people hear the gospel for the first time , when I watched my friends get baptized and fully gives their lives to Jesus, when we saw our sweet Guatemala grandma be healed from a bad infection, when our friends in Myanmar decided to be pastors, when we were living in a community that constantly encourages, and when I saw Jesus transform my life and my squad’s this year.
But I can’t forget His goodness when things get messy and you watch people live in extreme poverty, when you hold kids who live with HIV, when you sit with families experiencing loss and illness, when you watch a woman living in pain but still has to provide for her family, when you listen to families talk about how alcohol has effected their families, when you listen to women share how they’ve been hurt, when it becomes hard to love others, and I could go on forever. But in these circumstances He is still good. And because of His faithfulness, we know He is good when the things happening around us aren’t. He never leaves a promise unfulfilled. And that’s the same for here and in the states.
So from this year, I can leave this season knowing His goodness more than ever. And knowing that he used this year to set a foundation for the rest of my life. He taught me how to meet others where they’re at, to give grace unconditionally, that none of this is about me, and more importantly how to love others like He does. And going home He’s shifted my perspective and shown me how life at home isn’t any different than the life on the race. It’s all the same and I feel confident in carrying that home with me. That doesn’t always mean it’s easy. A quote from a Bob Goff book I read this year said, “Jesus never said doing these things would be easy. He just said it would work.” I learned that we can love others in really simple ways, and that is something I can take home with me.
To T squad- Thank you. Thank you for loving so well. For fighting for each other constantly, and showing me and the world what it looks like to love like Jesus. There’s no one out there like you. It was truly a privilege to walk out this journey with you. Because of each of you, I know more of the father. I can’t wait for even more of the world to know you.
To my supporters- thank you so, so much. Whether you prayed for me, read or shared my blogs or supported me financially, I appreciate you. Thank you for making this year possible for me. I can’t put into words how grateful I am. THANK YOU!!
I would LOVE to share more about this year when I get home. It’s been so incredible and I want to share about it! I’ll be home on SUNDAY!
