There is power in beauty. It is everywhere around us. In the movies, the main character finally lets her hair down and throws on a pair of heels and suddenly becomes ”beautiful”. But to me that has always been extremely surface level.
Ever since my mom first let me hold a makeup brush appearances have always been one of my top priorities. And before I even knew it, something that used to be just for fun turned into something I needed. When I looked in the mirror first thing in the morning I saw someone I didn’t like. So I spent hours painting my face, picking out the perfect outfit, and brushing my thick red curly hair to look just right. Yet even when I was done I still picked at the things I didn’t like and felt like I would never look like what I wanted to look like.
The first time I saw a women with a buzzed head I was amazed. When I looked at her I saw strength, confidence, and a kind of beauty I had never seen before. And I wanted that. So I told the people I was ”closest” to and immediately faced rejection before even doing it so I kept following what was deeme ”beautiful.” I bought as much makeup as I could afford, begged my mom for the nicest clothes, and grew my long red hair until it coverd every insecurity I had.
Since coming on the race the Lord has taught me so much. He has shown me that I am HIS masterpiece. He has shown me that I don’t have to hide who I am or how he is working in my life. He has shown me that all my strength comes from my burning desire to chase after HIM. But most of all he has shown me that all my beauty comes from having Jesus in my heart and that is something I shouldn’t hide.
So on Thursday I said enough. I chose to seek a high perspective of beauty. I decided I needed to drop something I have hidden behind for years. And I decided that I am beautiful for what is on the inside. So after my squad prayed over me, I cut and shaved my head. There was laughter. There were tears. But out of all, there were chains hitting the floor. So as I sit here, tears in my eyes, I can finally look in the mirror and say that I am beautiful.
