Today while running, something I am doing everyday for 21 days because my World Race team is awesome and we are breaking and making habits, it hit me a little.
I don't think it really has full on hit me, but it did just a little.
I won't be in Jacksonville next year, like for almost a year.
I mean I had little stints where I thought I would leave my town, where I really believed it was going to happen.
Like the one time I thought I was going to live in Tulsa, Oklahoma after visiting twice. Or when again I thought I would go for college. Or how bout that one time I was going to move to Salt Lake City, or Pensacola, Florida. Or that one time….well you get the point, there were a lot of I am going to….fill in the blank.
This is the first time where there is proof that I might get there, there is finances in an account. There is push behind this. It has been totally God and totally awesome. But this is going to happen, my dad is starting to realize that this isn't my normal I am going to leave…he really believes I am going to do it, and so do I.
That means that I will be gone for almost a year.
I am a new aunt to four kids…I am going to miss out on a year of their life!! Even though they live 6 hours away, I see them at least three to four times a year…and now I am missing out on those visits.
My parents won't be right by my side, for a year.
My sister and her boyfriend won't live just down the road.
My friends won't be a five minute drive away.
I won't be able to call them when I want, phone calls and emails will be planned events! Crazy in my technological friendly world.
Eleven months without a cat!
And almost a year away from my church family….
It will be just me, out of my life right now, out there. I will be fully alone and apart from my family.
I will have new friends and family. But I know I will have to trust in God for my comfort.
Trust Him for what I am missing and missing out on…that He will show me why He is calling me out of this everyday living.
I had to stop running a little, not only cause I was tired, but it really hit me. I will have to fully depend on God.
I am learning now to depend on Him in a new way and its rocking my world!
But this trip will be a whole different step and level of dependence on Him…
Am I ready?
I don't know, but I know God will show up in my weakness and show me grace as I figure out how to really let go and let God!
Hannah <3
