Debrief has been cray cray, okay!
In the middle of trying to raise almost $5,000 to stay on the field, talks of things possibly after the race, about the freedom I am walking in, and just all that accompanies the World Race debrief, I am still having to live.
Live out my walk in Christ. But last night, after taking a three hour glorious nap in air conditioning, I found myself crying the whole service.
I couldn't pin point what was wrong with me, I just felt so out of whack.
I wasn't "centered" if you will.
Something was off, and I didn't know what was going on. By the end of service there were a couple of things I knew the Lord wanted from me and they were not going to be easy.
He wanted me to DTR our relationship.
For those who aren't quite sure what that means, DTR stands for define the relationship.
I had been giving into so many things besides God that I was being pretty flaky about who God was to me. I was using and abusing Him for my gain. And He was getting hurt.
See God doesn't need me, but HE WANTS ME.
So to help DTR us, I got rid of all my music from iPod that didn't glorify God.
HOLD UP, WHAT?! I know right, I am the queen of anything jam, but the music is tearing us apart.
Music is a gifting that God gave me to pull closer to Him, but it hasn't been doing that.
It took me three hours.
Then I took a vow to try and not say anything negative till the end of debrief. It's not easy when you have sarcastic humor and a pretty smart mouth to match with it. I have caught myself a lot already in less than 24 hours having to apologize for my mouth.
I am also committing to read more of my bible and books that push me closer rather than not reading or reading things that are a little to frivolous.
God has really been putting on my heart to define US because if there is no US, than there is no life for me.
I was way off because I had started abusing God when He has been trying to call me into greatness.
He is calling me to renew myself in Him.
Romans 12:1-2 states:
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
So that is what I am doing, I am defining the relationship and putting it where it belongs. Priority.
