Tears, they seem to be my constant companions lately.
I feel like a blubbering mess.
Someone even called me firehydrant! It's been bad!
Why do I write to tell you this…because I feel the importance of transparency on this trip.
Might as well get started on this now while it is still an option and not a "well ain't no hiding this from my teammates" kind of mess.
So here is the truth.
I got emotions. Sometimes really strong ones. And sometimes they get in my way.
Last night through my heave crying and truth blubbing from my mouth, my sister sits waiting for me to finish my heartbreak chatter.
This is what she told me, "Hannah, your strong. You have to find a backbone."
I nod, my tears slowly spilling.
She continues, "Sometimes standing up to yourself is the hardest thing. You can't let this stop you from your goal."
Although I felt self pity slowly agitated at my sisters words that I was strong and not a victim, she was right.
Through all my meltdowns and crazy anxiety, I have got to start standing up!
I have to be strong! God has given me strength!
He hasn't called me to this trip to let me fall into anxiety, and self pity!
He called me to this trip to show that through my weakness, He can still be victorious! I can have victory because He goes before me and with me.
I ain't even got to sweat! God got me!
So I'm tellin myself,"Be strong firehydrant! God is with and before You!"
Shooot, I'm good!
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
