What are some of your weaknesses?
It is the most dreaded interview question. My inner self-consciousness hidden by sarcastic narcissism always wants to say, “HA! Nothing. Have you seen me?” But in reality, I’m just not that awesome. I mean…I’m pretty awesome, but not THAT awesome. I definitely have some weaknesses, and one of them is procrastination.
I am the worst (or the best, depending on how you look at it) procrastinator. When I was little, I would refuse to let anyone pull out my loose teeth. I’d just mess with them until they fell out. Now, I put off doing the dishes until the sink no longer has room or they start to smell (don’t judge). I don’t do laundry until I don’t have anything left to wear. I did my final, 25% of grade, research papers the day they were due, in the library, in between the classes that they were due in. I didn’t apply to the race until I literally couldn’t stop thinking about it and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep unless I finished my application. And though my fundraising letter is finished…I still haven’t sent it out to anyone.
So procrastination is a pretty big issue with me. My sarcastic narcism over the years has concluded that the only reason I procrastinate is because I obviously work really well under pressure so I subconsciously put things off until the last minute. Do you smell that? This well-thought-out bull crap may actually apply to those last minute papers I got A’s on. But with most things (aside from dishes and laundry) my procrastination has a much deeper and darker cause. Studies have shown that procrastination has less to do with laziness and more to do with the fears of failure and rejection.
Bingo. It took me a few weeks to finish my application because I was terrified that I would be denied. It took me a few weeks to even start my first draft of a fundraising letter and I still haven’t sent them out to this day. Why? Because I’m terrified people won’t support me. Part of me wishes procrastination was just pure laziness. At least then I could just send these letters out without a doubt in my mind. But instead, I take the insane rout of stressed out rants and tantrums before throwing letters into a mailbox. It’s like ripping off a band aid (which I usually do at an excruciatingly slow pace) or pulling a loose tooth.
But what’s awesome is this: God’s power is made perfect in our weakness. Paul says in Corinthians 12:9, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” I mean, I’m not going to throw a dance party because I’m a procrastinator…because let’s be honest, I wouldn’t book the DJ until the day before and then all I would be able to get is some guy who won’t stop playing Aba or something. But it does mean that even though I procrastinate out of the fear of rejection, through the power of the Holy Spirit, I know that the amount of money people give or don’t give does not define me in any way. That even if the recipients of my letters throw it directly in the trash, I am not rejected. I am loved and affirmed through Christ.
And so are you. So I’m going to mail my letters out as soon as they’re all printed and in their nice little envelopes. And I challenge you to do that thing you’ve been wanting/needing to do and have been putting off. I challenge you to boast about your weaknesses. Because they are small in comparison to God’s glory. Because God is there and He is working through you. He is working through and in spite of your downfalls, and that is just awesome.
Carry on, my wayward son.
