In many regards, this seems like the end. Today will be my final “travel day” and if I’m being honest, it hasn’t hit me that I’ll be traveling back to America. Yes, I’m excited to come home, see my loved ones, share stories and hear stories…
But part of me is aching inside.
You see, for the last eleven months W Squad has been my family-my brothers and my sisters, my safe places, my encouragers and my “level-heads”. They walked, ran, crawled, and carried me, month to month, through a year of intense character building. A year of brokenness, feelings of abandonment, and true tests of faith. They’ve laughed with me, cried with me, held me when I needed it, and loved me unconditionally.
The bond we share is unique. It’s something special. And it’s something I cherish.
My mind is twirling as moments and scenes pass through my head, part of me wants to cry but all I can do is smile. Like I said, it seems like the end, because it is. It’s the end of a beautiful season, a season where I learned more about myself, God, the world, and people than I ever have in the 24 years before God brought me on this journey. And though it is the end, it’s only the end of this season, which means the beginning of something great is just on the horizon.
A couple days ago at one of our final worship sessions my beautiful sister, Bobbi Jo said: “I don’t want to hear you say this was the best year of your life, because it’s not, there’s so much more to come-don’t ever think this is as good as it will ever get.” Okay, so that may not be exactly how she said it, but that’s how I understood it. And, you know, she’s so right. This year was special, no doubt, but if I think that this is as good as it gets then I’ve put God back into the box that I was keeping Him in at the beginning of this race. After what I’ve seen Him do, there’s no way I’m willing to put Him back.
So with that, I was encouraged. Yes, my heart aches deeply for the loss of the presence of these people in my life. I mean I’ve literally been with them EVERY DAY for a year. It was so hard at times to constantly be with each other but, like my brother Lincoln put it: I’ve been bowling with bumpers this past year, every time I started to go toward the gutter, someone was automatically there to get me back on the right track and every time I bowled down the lane I was sure to knock at least one pin down. Now, the bumpers are being taken away, leaving the gutters fully exposed. Now and then, I’m bound to bowl a gutter, but that’s where the grace of God comes in.
Brothers and sisters of W Squad, Ruth, Phil, Laura, Ama, Erin, and all the others behind the scenes: I love you guys, you have helped do something inside of me that I didn’t even believe was possible. You encouraged me to open my heart to God’s healing love and power. Thank you for your sincere dedication to my life. I love you.
And to my home and the people of the world: there has been a scandalous transaction that’s taken place between me and Jesus. I have been refreshed, made new, and I’m bursting with excitement for what’s to come, because the best IS yet to come. Look out…
I’m coming for you.
