As I looked out at the beauty of the green ocean splashed against a dark grey sky and palm trees laid out in front of me I felt the warm breeze of the salty air and was captivated. Deep breaths of pure serenity filled my lungs. The melodies of the ocean waves calmed my soul and I found myself in a state of bliss.
The view from Ingrid's OLD balcony.
"She just wants to get out, she hates it here…"
The echo of those words pulled me back into the present moment and the harsh reality of what was going on around me.
Here I stood, on the deck of this beautiful beach side mansion, as Sarah softly, yet urgently, gave direction on the most necessary rooms that needed to be packed and tasks that needed to be accomplished in the amount of time we had.
Mark passed away three weeks ago yesterday in this very house. For the past two months Pastor Daniel and his wife Sarah had been ministering to Mark and his wife as he battled cancer that had taken over his body.
By God's grace Mark found The Lord before he passed…
But this story isn't about Mark.
This courageous story is about a beautiful, strong, humble woman. Her name is Ingrid and she was Mark's faithful wife of twenty-one years.
In this particular moment this was the second time I met Ingrid. I walked up the stoney staircase where I was greeted by a beautiful stained glass window. I continued walking, taking everything in, as I slowly made my way towards the upstairs bedroom. I was prepared for God only knew what. As I turned the corner towards the master bedroom I heard Sarah comforting Ingrid as she sobbed. My heart shattered.
This woman, so broken, full of anxiety, grieving, and trying to pick up the pieces of a life she had no control over. She was overwhelmed, to say the least.
Over the last twenty-one years Ingrid lived under the control of her husband Mark. I was blessed to be able to spend some one on one time with her where she recalled countless moments of her life with Mark.
"He put me on a pedestal in the beginning…the first few years were great." She said as we drove down the dirt road in a car packed with her belongings. "But then we moved to Costa Rica…me, Mark, two kids, and $15,000."
I sat and listened as she recalled the painful memories.
"He told me this was like an ice cream shop and he was going to try every flavor…he told me if I didn't like it I could leave…I never did, I took those vows-he broke every one of them but I stayed faithful."
Ingrid continued on to tell me about how Mark would tell her she looked like a clown with make-up on, how she was too fat, too skinny, stupid, useless. That she wasn't smart enough to make her own decisions…just on and on hurt and abuse one after the other for twenty-one years she persevered.
She was upset, she said to me as we rounded the corner and the ocean came back into view, "He left me with no life insurance, no health insurance, debt, and just nothing." "I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel but I'm still in such a cloud."
Ingrid continued to share her story with me all throughout the day as I helped her move her most treasured possessions from the beach side mansion that "never felt like home" to her new condo that was "filled with light".
My heart broke as she told her story of all of the lies that were spoken over her by her husband. All of the lies that she believed for so long but I was so blessed to be given the opportunity to speak life into her, tell her who God thinks she is and how her strength through it all impacted me and my life personally.
Ingrid's story is sad, yes, but her story is a beautiful testament of God's grace, provision, faithfulness, and love.
Ingrid is not stupid. She is not ugly. She is not worthless. She is not helpless. She is not powerless.
Ingrid, my dear friend Ingrid, is beautiful, a DAUGHTER of the Most High KING. She is one of the strongest women I have EVER met. She perseveres. She is worthy. She is smart. She is loved. She is FREE.
It is not an easy road that Ingrid is traveling down-the road of healing and of trying to figure out who she is after twenty-one years of control. But like Mark was saved and forgiven, Ingrid was also saved and gave her life to Christ.
Her perseverance, strength, and faithfulness is such a testimony to who God is-how He never leaves us, is always protecting us, and always giving us strength to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Even if we aren't seeking Him…what love!!!
My friend Ingrid is going to find the light. She will be on fire for The Lord and such a beacon of hope to all women who hear her testimony to continue to stay faithful, to persevere, to look to the One for strength and love to endure through the muck and mire of this harsh life that the world and people throw at us on a continual daily basis.
I pray that you would keep Ingrid in your prayers as she continues to find herself in The Lord. Prayers for healing, for joy, and for light to fill her life. Also, please pray for financial provision as she is trying to wrap her mind around all of the pieces that she has to pick up and try to put together concerning debt and selling the mansion and countless other things.
Cover her with the love of Christ.
I'm excited to say that Ingrid is blown away by the love that she's received from the church body who she's only known for about 2 1/2 months and my WR Team for the last week. This is what the church is supposed to be-simply loving God and by loving God that overflows on to loving people and loving them well and unconditionally. She has a beautiful Christ filled community surrounding her which makes me so excited for her future with her One True Love.
Praise His Name!! He makes all things new.
Psalm 40:2-He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
AMEN.
Praying for Ingrid…always.
I love her soul.
