Dust kicks up all around me as the soccer ball is shot straight into the air. I hear the sound of Dixon’s scratchy voice yelling, “pass, pass!” and the sounds of laughter and little running feet ringing in my ears. Jason, Jaysee, Theo, and Amie are in the goalie box defending our honor as much as they can and the grittiness of the sand rubs in between my toes because it’s been trapped in my socks and boots for days on end now. It’s another typical Tuesday afternoon playing soccer with the babes of Bokspits and it’s one of the happiest moments of my life.
Bokspits, Botswana…has been a whirlwind of beautiful children, amazing community that quickly became family, and more sand dunes than I’ve ever seen in my life because, well, this is the desert. Month TEN has been beautiful. This month has been full of birthdays, children and hugs, Theo and Jason, hot days and cold nights, beautiful sunrises and countless stars in the night sky. It’s been a month full of leaning on The Lord and continually hearing His voice. It’s been full of laughter, so much love, and a brand new set of people to add to my family tree.
Being in the middle of the desert with no distractions was definitely very good for my soul. While I was in the desert, in the wilderness, God gave me many revelations-some were “reminders” and some were new ones.
One thing you may or may not know about me is that I love the apostle Paul. He is my favorite person in the bible besides Jesus, of course. I fell in love with Paul back in Cambodia. His testimony is a beautiful example of Christ’s redeeming love and his testimony inspired me as I found myself sorting through the pieces of my testimony and found myself being covered with Christ’s redeeming love as well. Let me just say it, Paul is quite the BA (I’m sorry if you don’t know what that means).
Paul was bold, he was steadfast, he was on fire, he was blunt and he was just awesome. He was chosen by God for a great purpose-to preach the good news to the Gentiles. But Paul wasn’t chosen because he was perfect, because as we all know, or maybe some of you don’t, Paul was chosen because of the testimony that he was to Christ. Paul was the furthest thing from perfect-he persecuted Christians, he even goes as far to say that he was obsessed with killing Christians in Acts 26. You’ll find that in verse 11 Paul says, “I was so violently opposed to them that I even chased them down in foreign cities.”
If you were to know Paul back in his day, he would’ve been the last person you thought God would use to preach the Good News, but Paul’s life is a testament to the grace God has on our lives and his redeeming love. Paul’s testimony is proof that no one is ever “too far gone” for God.
2 Corinthians 12:5-10:
“That experience is worth boasting about, but I’m not going to do it. I will boast only about my weaknesses. If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won’t do it, because I don’t want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message, even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged The Lord to take it away. Each time He said, ‘My grace is is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
In this text we’re told that Paul has a “thorn in his flesh” meaning he has a hindrance-he has something evil that weakens him and the bible doesn’t tell us what that weakness is, but in the text Paul is asking The Lord to take it away so that he could be strong. Three times he asks God to take it away and I love how He replies:
“My grace is is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
Through this tiny passage of scripture, God reminded me that I can do nothing apart from Him. You see, I had been struggling with feeling inadequate and not “skilled enough” or “smart enough” to do work for His kingdom. Then, just like that, He reminded me that I’m not-but when people see that I’m successful they’ll know that it’s not because I’m able, but it’s because Christ lives in me and I can do all things through Him. He reminded me that He gets all the glory.
That gives me such hope and my prayer is that it gives you hope too. That gives me hope because I know I’m weak-I know I’m not strong, but God says right here that when we are at our weakest He’s at His strongest. And that takes all the pressure away! That removes the pressure because it isn’t about “us” anymore, as if it ever was. When we realize that it’s only by God’s grace and His strength that we become able, the pressure fades because we realize that it isn’t about our performance, it’s about whether or not we’re willing to let God use us. Paul knew the grace that he had on his own life through Jesus. My prayer is that you recognize that grace in your own life too. Remove the pressure from yourself, it’s not about you anyway. It’s about God and it’s about Him receiving all of the glory.
With that, I want to leave you with a passage in 1 Corinthians 1:26-31:
“Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God. God has united you with Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made him to be wisdom itself. Christ made us right with God; he made us pure and holy, and he freed us from sin. Therefore, as the scriptures say, ‘If you want to boast, boast only about The Lord.'”
God calls the inadequate, He calls people who aren’t equipped, He calls the “lowly” and the “uneducated”. He calls you and me. Trust is a lesson I continue to think that I have down and it’s a lesson that God continually has to teach me because He knows that I don’t. He taught me in the desert that as much as I think I know, I don’t. I can’t fool Him and, yet, He loves me more than anyone because He truly knows my heart, my thoughts, and everything about me. He knew this before He sent His son and He still did it. He wants me, all of me, and He aches for me to trust Him…and He wants you to trust Him too.
So, in our weaknesses, know that He is strong. Know that when you feel your weakest, He’s at His strongest. Know that He is calling you and trust that He’s going to be right next to you, guiding you every step of the way. And remember, the glory is His.
