“Okay, sit here and slide your feet towards the foam…okay, good. Now slide your feet to the yellow bar, it’s okay, I’ve got you-you won’t fall. Okay, now slide down on into the water.” Reggie’s voice was so calm I nearly forgot that I was plunging into shark infested waters….by my own free will.
As I sat floating in the cage I couldn’t think of anything but the pounding in my chest. My body swayed back and forth as the ocean waves crashed into the cage and the side of the boat. It smelled like fish bait and vomit. The Atlantic made my bones shiver but, regardless, the water was warmer than I imagined. My wet suit helped to keep some of my body heat in and I was ready to go under.
My hands gripped the yellow bar and all I could hear was Reggie’s voice in my head during our briefing: “don’t put your hands outside of the cage!”
Slowly, one by one, Claire, Seth, and Ray joined me in the cage. I listened carefully for Reggie’s voice, as he was the one directing us where to look. And then, I heard it, “okay divers, look to your left!” I breathed in deep, and shoved myself under the water. On my right was Claire and on my left, there he was: Bruce, the great white shark. I screamed under water as he shot closer to me through the water. It was one of those moments where I didn’t wanna watch but I couldn’t help but stare. Bruce swam right to me, then quickly shifted and swam in front of me. I wanted to pee, but knew better since it wasn’t my suit..
He darted in front of me and I watched until I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. I shot up enough to gasp for air. As I opened my mouth all I could taste was salt water as the waves pounded against me. “Holy crap!” I screamed and quickly went back under.
For fifteen minutes this went on. Shark after shark passed in front of me, close enough to touch. It was invigorating, terrifying, and by far the coolest thing I’ve ever done in my life.
Finally I heard Reggie say, “okay divers, here’s the last one-look ahead!” I pushed myself under the water and the second I did I saw him, swimming straight for me. My human reactions took over, I let go of the bar I had been gripping relentlessly for the last fifteen minutes, and pushed myself as far as I could to the back of the cage, I let out the most horrifying underwater scream I could muster and felt my heart jump out of my body. The shark, Mister Bruce, came straight for me, he dodged at the last second and swam right next to my left hand side. If I had the guts to disobey Reggie, I probably wouldn’t have a left hand.
I popped my head to the surface as they were opening the cage. After Reggie helped me safely onto the boat, I attempted to get dressed but then felt seasick. I made my way to the front left side of the boat and watched as the 9 foot giants swam around the boat-circling and circling. I sat there, soaked in my wetsuit, feeling ill, but loving every moment.
Shortly after, Reggie came and said we’d be leaving in about five minutes. As we made our way back to shore, Reggie told me stories about navy guys getting sick and even old captains of fishing boats not being able to handle the rock of the ocean at times. He told me how he used to be in the South African Navy and about how his sister is a missionary in New Zealand. I think he was trying to make me feel better about life at that present moment and, honestly, it helped.
As I stared out into the big blue ocean, my stomach started to flutter, and not in a bad way. I was praying and I suddenly realized what I had just experienced. I was just within touching distance of great white sharks, some of the best predators and scariest animals in the entire world, and I lived through it! These creatures, that were created by God, creatures I never imagined I’d ever be that close to, were so within my grasp. In that moment, I was stunned and couldn’t help but marvel at who my God is. “This is the life God has called all of us to live,” I thought, “Thank you Jesus for this adventure of a life that you’ve blessed me with.”
Lately I’ve been struggling, though. If I’m being honest, I have to fight against my flesh because all of me wants to be comfortable and materialistic and safe. But I also want to be good and I want to be obedient and I want to fight. Do you see the struggle? Maybe you feel the same struggle, the same tug of war that I feel. The tug of war against myself. I struggle with wanting a safe life and I struggle with the desire to be obedient to God’s voice.
But God didn’t put us on this earth to be miserable, to worry, and to just “go through” life. He didn’t put us here to be in a constant state of struggle. He put us here to give us an adventure, He wants us to live and to live FULL. Now, shark cage diving may not be your definition of adventure, but it is mine. But no matter what your definition is, life wasn’t made to be mundane. God’s plan for us wasn’t to live boring, mediocre lives. His plan was and is adventure for each and every one of His children.
As the end of the race draws near, I’ve been longing more and more for “normalcy”. I’ve thought, “it would just be so easy to live a normal life, it’d be so comfortable, it’d be so safe…” But, honestly, after today, I don’t ever want to look back and regret not living this precious gift of life to the fullest. I never want to be “normal” and I never want to live “normal”. I don’t want to live a “safe” life. I want this life to be a continual adventure and I want to live everyday radically-for Jesus. You don’t have to shark cage everyday to live radically, because let’s face it, if you swam with sharks everyday I’m sure, eventually, that would get boring too.
As I watch the sun set in one direction and the big moon rise in the other, I’m captivated by my God and the bigness of who He is and the adventurer that He is. I hear Him cheering me on and I feel the fire burning inside of me.
I think back to the moment of Mister Bruce, the nine foot underwater giant, swimming straight for me, and as I look back on my life over the last year, I realize that I’ve lived everything and anything but a safe life. I’ve pushed myself to breaking points, I’ve cried, I’ve laughed, I’ve gotten angry with God, and I’ve fallen in love with Him in new and different ways every day. Not every day is easy, and not every moment is “safe”, but every moment God has given me has been radical. And every moment has been worth jumping into the water, heart pounding, and danger within reach because every time, He is there-holding me, protecting me, and cheering me on every step of the way.
Living radically looks different everyday. Maybe one day it’s rushing a babe to the hospital because he knocked himself out playing on the jungle gym and split his chin open (yes, that happened), maybe it’s praying for your host mom because she received a disturbing message, or maybe it’s simply choosing to look up as you walk through a neighborhood of broken homes and smile at every person you see. That’s radical living, people. Being obedient to the Lord, spreading His joy and His love-that’s radical.
You only have this moment, you only have this life. You only have one chance to do this. So, do it. Step out of the “safe zone” and take God out of the box that you’ve trapped Him in. See Him for who He truly is and not for the “god” that you’ve made Him to be in your lives. See Him for the loving, caring, warrior adventurer that He is and not for the “Sunday morning checklist” that you’ve made Him. I dare you to let Him be Lord of your life.
My challenge and my prayer is that you would jump into those shark infested waters. Jump in with your heart pounding and your whole being expectant. Expectant for crazy things to happen and expectant that the God of this universe will protect you through the craziness. Expectant that He will carry you through the hard times and rejoice with you in the good. And expectant that the life He has planned for you is nothing you could imagine, even in your wildest dreams.
My challenge is that you remember that God is good, but He’s not safe.
