Vulnerability: This topic needs a whole blog post because it is something that literally rocked my world when I applied to the World Race. I had no idea what this word meant or why it was such a big deal.
During the application process most questions asked were deeply personal questions. I struggled with being completely open and honest about my challenges and personal battles in life. Then came the over the phone interview – more raw questions about people and situations that I had never before put into words and voiced aloud to someone. I felt open and exposed. I didn’t like it. Then came the acceptance call! (Yay!) As she said I was chosen, the trip suddenly became real for the first time. As she was talking I felt a flood of emotions: joy, fear, excitement, anxiety, relief, sadness, and then confusion. The person on the other end of the phone said she wanted me to work on being vulnerable before training camp.
What!?
To me, the word vulnerable always had a negative connotation associated with it. In my eyes a nest of little bunnies are vulnerable. Two year olds are vulnerable, baby birds, squirrels in the middle of the road, and me, when I opened up enough to ask someone for help.
To be vulnerable in my eyes meant to be weak, powerless, gullible, naive, unable to fend for yourself and an easy target.
Things I had made sure I was not.
In my complete confusion I looked up the definition of this strange word. It turns out I was right. The world sees the vulnerable as people capable of being hurt, people open to attacks and criticisms. WHAT were they asking me to do?
Fast forward to training camp.
50 people came together as complete strangers. Within 2 days we were family. How did that happen? A beautiful thing called vulnerability. The choice to be completely open with fellow believers brings together a community in complete unity that I had never experienced.
When you make that choice to be real and put yourself out there, there is always chance of pain. You can be easily be hurt. These people now know things about you that no one else does. They know your shame, your secrets, your struggles, they have the power to use them against you. That is a huge risk.
Imagine this:
You open up and actually share what shame you have in your life. The shame that Satan always uses against you and you cannot let it go. The nasty stuff people don’t know; you don’t tell anyone, especially people you just met earlier that week.
Afterwards you sit there in a state of complete helplessness, you just shared something that someone could destroy you with. Then, something beautiful happens.
The silence ringing in your ears is broken by a small voice in the circle and you hear someone say, “thank you for sharing that, I struggle with the same thing”.
Through the tears you look up and see other sisters weeping with you.
During the hugs and words of affirmation they are sharing with you, you hear God whisper, “I love you daughter, and YOU are worthy of my love“.
And you realize just for much freedom you receive by being open.
This is HARD. But so rewarding! So where did we get this crazy concept that our society views as weak?
Pulling out the Sunday School answer here….JESUS!
From birth to death, during his whole ministry, Jesus walked out a life of vulnerability. Everywhere he went he was completely open, he showed who he really was, and for that, he was rejected, scoffed at, and made an outcast. He showed his emotions: anger at the temple, love when he washed his disciple’s feet, brokenness at Lazarus’ tomb, and anguish in the garden of Gethsemane. Everywhere he went he was 100% real. This the life he calls us all to!!
Being vulnerable is hard. It is a conscious choice that we have to make everyday during every conversation. Because it is so easy to keep relationships at a surface level. But when that happens we never experience the joy and unity that follows digging deeper and investing in that person’s life. Everyone struggles. I am choosing to share my struggles, use them to build and encourage those around me. It will not be easy. But I will follow the example set before me.
In our society it isn’t the norm. It isn’t the easy way out. It is hard. Sometimes painful. But this is the way of life Jesus called us to. He wants us to be open. To love people and show them we know what they are going through and we have been there. We have all struggled. This is the way to build lasting relationships.
