*I wrote this blog over a month ago, but I am just getting around to posting it now! Enjoy!*
I’m Falling for….Me?
How do I say this?
I am in love with myself.
Sounds kinda prideful right?
But, its not! That’s the
beauty of it. I feel I have
started walking into a new security in my identity over the past few
weeks. Anyone who knows me or
reads my blog, knows that I am kinda sorta obsessed with identity being rooted
in Christ, knowing that we are children of God, loved, chosen, beautiful,
etc. Recently God has taken me
into even deeper levels of this.
Normally, when a deeper level of this comes, I find myself weeping in my
bed night because of my weaknesses, my failings, all the ways I am not like
Christ yet. God whispers in my
ear, “I love you daughter.� This
time has been an incredibly different experience. I seriously love who God has created me to be. He has been showing me all the things
He loves about me and in turn I love me!
While in Uganda I had a desire to be romanced by God, and someone spoke
that over me- that God was going to start romancing me. Well, I had no idea that Him romancing
me would mean Him causing me to fall in love with me. Seems weird right?
In order to bring me to a deeper love for Him, He brings me to a deeper
love for myself. I am still having
a hard time wrapping my human mind around that concept. But, honestly, I have never loved
myself as much as I have these past few weeks since returning from training
camp. And what I love is Christ in
me and who God has made me. In
community life I have often prayed that God would give me new eyes to see the
people around me. Right now, God
is giving me new eyes to see myself.
It’s
fall in Maryland right now and the leaves are so incredibly beautiful. They are yellow, orange, red,
green. Everytime I step outside
these past few weeks I feel blessed and I am in love. With the trees, with God, and myself. Right now, I feel like a fall tree at
its peak. I am beautiful, bright,
bold. The beauty of the fall reminds me of the beauty of me. I can’t help
but take a deep breath at how incredibly loved and created I am, how I am the
workmanship of God. “For
we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which
God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
I
know that God has brought me to this new level of identity partly in
preparation to squad lead this January. I know that the things He is
growing me in, teaching me, revealing to me are things that I have the
authority to speak into E squad, things He desires to reveal to them. I still need to raise $3,800 for Squad Leading this January! Please consider donating towards my trip! I know God can provide, He has done it over and over and over again! And maybe He wants to provide through you!
