Okay, so I am squad leading. And I love it.
But, I can’t do this.
I know just a few days ago I was bragging about how I have
the best job ever. And that is
true. But, if there is one thing I
have been learning daily here is that I can’t do this. Me, myself, and I are not capable of
co-leading this group of men and women.
I desperately need God to be a squad leader. I have know for awhile that I need God but I don’t know if I
really have know that….do you know what I mean? I have known it in my mind and maybe even experienced
moments of complete dependency on Him, but it hasn’t been a daily aspect of my
life- needing God. But, literally
every day here I am reminded of how I can’t do this without God.
I have a confession to make: this summer when I was in
Uganda I did not rely on God as much as I should have. I lead out of my own strength and
ability too many times. I relied
on words of affirmation from those around to keep me going instead of leaning
on the Lord. As I sat on the plane
to Fort Lauderdale a few weeks ago, heading to the World Race Launch, I wrote
in my journal “Help me lead and live from Your strength, joy, energy, Spirit-
not my own.� Well, God answers
prayers. Since stepping off
the plane and stepping into squad leading, I have been acutely aware of how
inadequate I am on my own.
Seriously every day I am at a loss for what to do about something: a
conversation that needs to happen, a decision that needs to be made, the
condition of my own heart, how to encourage and challenge those around me, how
to live in community, how to walk in my strengths and work on my
weaknesses….the list goes on and on….
In Thessalonians 5:17 it says “pray without ceasing.� I am beginning to understand this
verse. For me it means every step
of the day I am seeking Him. I am
constantly listening for His voice and communicating with my Father. I am aware of how much I need Him and
how dependent on Him I really am.
And honestly, I find such freedom in this. Its this weird thing about God- the more you realize you
need Him, the more you feel free to be you.
Well, those are some thoughts for you! Below I have posted some pictures from
the past few weeks in El Salvador- enjoy!
Most of E Squad at one of the top surfing beaches in the world!
Left: Lindsay and myself with our surf boards! Learned to surf! (well kinda sorta learned, more like attempted to learn). Right: With some of the squad riding the back of a truck! Typical transport in Central America.
Me holding the chubbiest baby I have ever seen
** I still need $1,760 to be fully funded! Please consider partnering with me for the Kingdom! Thank you for your prayers- they are powerful and they are needed! Loves.**
